This man is crazy! I spotted After Hours rapper HEADLOCK terrorizing Adelaide's Western suburbs last night as he roamed the streets with a pack of hungry wolves devouring everything in their path. They've been doing this for weeks but the cops are too scared to do anything about it and my local council don't believe me, isn't this violating some kind of by-law???
Popular hip hop dude DRAPHT was seen yesterday embarking on an epic quest with wicked witch T-Bag and her assistant T-Shirt. He told me they intended to travel to Letterland and recover the lost pearls of wisdom from the evil Sally Simpkins. Good luck guys!
Saw rapper/baller J-WESS chillin' with his crew at a Sydney strip club. He was the most popular act of the night, stuffing multiple $100 bills into his g-string. Has he had work done?
Rap diva KARA KRAIG was seen at JFK International Airport hanging around the departures lounge. I saw her flashing around a poorly faked pilot's license written on the back of a napkin. She was asking everyone if there were any job openings on flights to Australia for pilots or co-pilots or if she could borrow a plane for a few days. Hang in there!
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