28.12.11

J Cole Reported to be Dead

The Global Associated Press has reported that musician J Cole is dead following a freak Jet-Ski accident while on holiday in Turks and Caicos.

goodnight sweet prince

Official reports from hospital officials indicate that the famous rapper/singer struck a concrete boat slip in a marina on Parrot Cay in the Turks and Caicos Islands earlier today. J Cole was the only passenger on the personal watercraft at the time of the incident.

J Cole was a respected musician with millions of fans around the world before his tragic death. His debut album titled Cole World: The Sideline Story was released on September 27, 2011. His death was met by an outpouring of grief on Twitter and Facebook.

The accident occurred at approximately 8:45 a.m. (UTC/GMT -4 hours).

This story is still developing



The Turks and Caicos Islands, in recent years have grown in popularity as a quiet getaway destination for celebrities. The Turks and Caicos Islands consist of 40 islands and cays, eight of which are inhabited. The islands are located 550 miles southeast of Miami, Florida, just below the Bahamas chain and just to the east of Cuba and the island of Hispaniola (Dominican Republic and Haiti.) Technically, the Turks and Caicos are located in the Atlantic Ocean, not the Caribbean Sea.

23.12.11

Dumb Home Studios

*fades down channel 1*
"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"
 
 Finally, someone from Ancient Greece is making rap beats. This guy makes the hottest fiyah on Mount Olympus, no wonder the speakers are smoking.

 Welcome to the ultimate home SHOE-dio.

  This guy might be the laziest rap producer of all time but don't sleep on his beats!

 
Actually this isnt shitty; its Minority Report in The Matrix (via Photoshop).

3.12.11

Zac Hanson Purchases Swimming Pool Full of Cocaine

The littlest Hanson brother has made waves in the celebrity swimming community by filling his backyard pool with cocaine. Inspired by his hero Tony Montana, Zac Hanson (26) recently purchased the white Colombian gold from a contact he made during his time in the music industry.





The 25-metre pool has become a controversial fixture in Zac's Tulsa neighbourhood. Some residents have complained about the all-night cocaine parties, which often include Hanson music played at a loud volume, and parents have warned their children never to go swimming at the Hanson residence. Local police are concerned but there is nothing they can do about it.



Zac had been saving up his royalties from the hit single "MMM...Bop" for 15 years, waiting until he could afford enough cocaine to fill his pool. While his older brothers were racing their Ferraris and riding jetskis around their castle moats Zac was living modestly, only spending on the bare essentials. During a candid interview he expressed his heartfelt thanks to all the fans who bought the single and made his extreme cocaine dream a reality.