Is THE GAME a clone of 50 CENT and DR DRE? I'm just asking questions!

New evidence has come to light in the curious case of popular rap singer THE GAME and his mysterious origins, calling into question the "official story" they want us to believe.

"The Game sounds eeriely like a clone of Dr. Dre as he spits his shit"
-RapReviews.com

When The Game was shot on October 1st 2001 he was rushed to hospital and went into a coma for three days. On the fourth day, hospital staff entered his room and found him missing! A security tape later surfaced showing 50 Cent and Dr Dre entering the building at approximately 2:15 AM on the morning of October 5th. The hospital refused to investigate the matter further. In 2005 MTV interviewed Dr Dre but he refused to answer any questions about the incident.

The truth is that Dre and 50 knew The Game from a young age and followed his progress closely. They groomed him to be the perfect rapping machine, giving him classic rap albums to listen to and explaining the finer points of hip hop culture, like how to roll a blunt and all about those spinning rims.

After escaping the hospital, The Game was rushed to Dr Dre's home studio where a team of interns prepped him for surgery. Dr Dre leaned over his body and whispered into his ear "You are ready, my son." 50 Cent then injected him with a DNA infusion (combined with frozen stem cells taken from the corpse of Eazy-E, after Dr Dre figured out how to cure and remove the AIDS) and the transformation was complete.

From this point on The Game was a totally different person. He was already an accomplished rapper but the DNA of 50 and Dre was making him into a rap superstar the likes of which the world had never seen. His body was the same but the mind had transformed beyond recognition.

After the release of The Documentary everything seemed to be going well. The Game was offered a seat a Dr Dre's table and ate dinner with his family every night. He coddled the young man the same way he coddled Eminem, making beats for him and even buying him a Lambo for his birthday. The Game responded in kind, surprising Dr Dre by getting a tattoo of his album The Chronic.

Their close relationship was making 50 Cent jealous, he resented the role Dre was playing as a father. 50 was not satisfied with The Game's debut album. He wanted to take over the entire rap game. He wanted to make The Game into a mercenary, a natural born killer, and just diss everyone.

This new direction did not sit well with The Game. He lashed out at 50, and one of the most epic feuds in the history of rap was born. Dr Dre was disappointed with this turn of events but 50 Cent ended up getting exactly what he wanted by finally unleashing The Game's hidden potential, to the benefit of rap fans worldwide.

Sources used for this post:
Hip Hop Horror Theories
IMDB Biography - The Game
RapReviews - Doctor's Advocate
Youtube - 'clones from ancient egypt..obama..michael jackson..50 cent..illuminati past life conspiracy'

aussie rap songs for you're mom: DRAPHT - RAPUNZEL

Of course, most critics agreed when this song came out that it was one of the worst tracks ever recorded. But you're mom seems to love it. Rapunzel is mainly about a girl with long hair who broke up with Drapht, apparently he cant get over it. The guitar riff, rolling bassline, horns and lyrics about Sex in the City and Russell Crowe (R.I.P) are her cup of tea. Plus he is the most non-threatening male to ever wear a flat brim.

Who cares if Drapht was a member of SBX? He still had one of the worst tracks on Culture of Kings 3...which was a terrible compilation (full of songs you'r mom would probably love).

This is what Drapht looks like when your mom invites him over for dinner and he sits on your couch

Apparently DRAPHT has managed to get his fruityloops record The Life Of Riley on the musical charts and perform his standup rapping routine at several 'music fests', despite the fact that his album bombed so badly that the label never released a second single! lol fail

 Drapht strips off in the vocal booth to record another top 40 ballad
  

visit drapht's dumb myspace: http://www.myspace.com/drapht

vandalise him on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drapht

MC Kerser: Ready for War

SKIPHOPZ favourite KERSER has been unfairly attacked by many haters and clowns since he changed the rap game. Yesterday he spoke out on a popular internet message board, taking the opportunity to set the record straight about haters.

why dont u tell us how u really feel lol!

The issue of whether Kerser is the sickest has polarised opinion in the aussie hip hop community. Many fans have criticised Kerser for writing idiotic songs about the dumbest shit, but he paid though. He paid. He so paid. He makin money. He gettin dat paper currency in his pants pocket or purse.

However 360 recently bought a million dollar apartment. Looks like Kerser was defeated by 360 again!

Aussie Rap Celeb Sightings

Hip hop hottie IGGY AZALEA was smoking hot at Bondi Beach yesterday. She was directing some young children to build a BMX track out of sand. Somebody tried to explain that you cant ride bikes on sand and the tide was coming in but she soldiered on regardless.

I just had a close encounter with the main man CHANCE WATERS at McDonalds. He was holding up the drive-thru by ordering nothing but fries and salads, asking the cashier how the lettuce and potatoes were transported. After delivering his monologue he eventually drove away without getting anything.

Rap battle dude DECOY was allegedly seen officiating a rap battle between 2 dogs in a supermarket carpark. He gave up after his Shure SM58 became covered in drool, declaring that the dogs had squashed the beef and it was time to move on.

I saw rapping sensation 360 at my local gym, he is there all the time. Once again he was wiping sweat off the exercise machines and squeezing it into tiny green bottles, I couldn't get close enough to read the yellowing labels. I hope he gets enough sweat!

WHAT IF HIP HOP DIED IN 1988?

Torcha's dad said hip hop was gonna die in 1988. What if he was right???

SkipHopZ presents...
HIP HOP TIMELINES: AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

1988
KRS One champions the cause of long dead industrialist Jordan L. Mott from the South Bronx who invented a type of coal-fired cast-iron stove, he continues to loudly remind everyone that he was not from Queensbridge

1989
"Nobody beats The Biz!" is the slogan of Biz Markie's short-lived used car dealership

1990
Lemonade sales reach an all-time low, millions unemployed as factories close and the economy collapses in the 'Great Fizzy Yellow Depression'

1991
People suspect those House of Pain guys might be Irish but there is no way of telling for sure

1992
MC Hammer is constantly complaining about how people keep touching him

1993
Ice Cube receives a speeding ticket and later says to himself "Police can be quite annoying sometimes"

1996
Critics attack Will Smith for his performance in Independence Day, asking "Cant this guy do ANYTHING else apart from act?"

1998
DMX is pretty much just a normal guy. Ruff Ryding means something totally different.

1999
A young Marshall Mathers creates a minor controversy by doing his job at a local lumber mill with the mannerisms of a black person, several white kids start copying him

2000
Nelly finishes his degree and moves to the country, becomes a grammar teacher 

2001
Bad Boy is not for life

2002
A mime named Kanye West almost dies in a car accident, doctors amputate the lower half of his face

2003
Born with no usable talents 50 Cent dies trying to get rich.

2004
Jay-Z mysteriously becomes CEO of Microsoft for some reason. Hires Rhianna to be lead programmer on Windows Vista, puts Memphis Bleek in charge of marketing and gets Benie Siegel for security. He will be fired 2 years later.

2005 
Madlib gets high and composes the weirdest opera ever

2008
Nas quits his job at an accounting firm because his boss kept asking him to reproduce those amazing spreadsheets he made in 1994

2011
Biggie Smalls buys Tupac an ipad for his birthday. Now he can watch Game of Thrones on the go

KERSER IS THE SICKEST!!!!!!!!11!1!1111

#1 KERSER FANPAGE ON THE WEB

POWERED BY SKIP HOPZ DOT COM

TIME and time again the best pure musicians of our time are being ignored and neglected by the ivory-tower establishment just because they play in the battle-rap genre. KERSER changed the game when he appeared on the scene, Aussie rap will never be the same again...it is also a well known fact that he defeated 360 in battle during the most hyped contest since Muhammad Ali defeated the Raging Bull, making him the reigning queen bee of the rap scene.

A YOUNG MAN OF THE STREETS, FROM THE STREETS

• Kerser enjoys watching rugby league
• Kerser knows his Centrelink customer identification number
• Kerser makes offhand comments about local, state or government politicians, indicating that he could do a better job if he was in charge
• Kerser has a casual attitude towards work
• Kerser hardly ever recycles, and he never rinses out bottles before recycling them

KERSER THROUGH THE AGES

The legend of Kerser began in 1873 when a young buck appeared on the battle scene after defeating Abraham Lincoln, 360 and Napoleon in acapella battles. Soon after he met his homeboy Tommy Edison (a.k.a T-SON) who invented the phonograph so Kerser could finally be recorded and the rest is history.

THE KERSER ATROCITIES

The Voyager Golden Records are phonograph records which were included aboard the Voyager spacecraft. They contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth, and are intended for any intelligent extraterrestrial life form, or for future humans, who may find them. Not a single Kerser song was included. I hope it flies into the sun.

KERSER FOR PRIME MINISTER?

Many fans have wished for Kerser to enter politics although the man himself has declined to comment about it. I photocopied the local council election form 1000 times and managed to get Kerser elected as my local council treasurer but they gave the job to someone else when he didnt turn up for any meetings and there was some crisis about the staff not being paid? Get your head in the game Kerser, we expect better from you!

KERSER WINAMP SKINS

comming soon!

KERSER WALLPAPER

pimp your desktop, Kerser style (click for full size!!)

The New Face of Phatchance

The infamous Sydney folk/rap singer "Phatchance" will now be known as "Chance Waters". The announcement was announced shortly after Phatchance admitted he did not vote for Skiphopz in the Ozhiphop Journalist of the Year poll. A crime for which he can never be forgiven.

He wrote the following on social networking website "The Face Book":

I decided it was time for a change. When I was 16 and started out performing Phatchance was a great name for me

[citation needed]

I was a battle rapper and it suited what I was doing really well, with my second album nearly finished and hopefully with my music maturing I felt like it was time to make a change, a lot of you already know me as Chance Waters so hopefully you'll listen to my music in that guise too. ♥ as always - Chance

Good luck to you, bro.

Of course readers can expect to find the scathing review of the new Chance Waters album right here on SkipHopZ, as soon as I can find a megaupload link for it.

R.A.P.E.D - Real Ass People Every Day

Skiphopz, the top internet authority on rap singing, is giving shouts out to RAPED. These guys go hard...but dont think that they are a crew of rape victims, it stands for REAL ASS PEOPLE EVERY DAY. and thats what their raps are all about.



RAPED takes the backing tracks from popular urban ballads by performers such as Lil Wayne and Jay-Z, and replaces the lyrics with straight goonin. Highly recommended for those of you with a high musical IQ.

Download free mixtape: http://www.datpiff.com/RAPED-sexcore-mixtape.295743.html

Dumb Home Studios

*fades down channel 1*

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

 

 Finally, someone from Ancient Greece is making rap beats. This guy makes the hottest fiyah on Mount Olympus, no wonder the speakers are smoking.

 Welcome to the ultimate home SHOE-dio.

  This guy might be the laziest rap producer of all time but don't sleep on his beats!

 

Actually this isnt shitty; its Minority Report in The Matrix (via Photoshop).

Hip Hop Jobs

As part of my ongoing service to the unemployed brothers out there I will be reposting select job ads from SERCH; the hip hop employment website.

DJs WANTED
nO EXPERIENCE NECESSARy!!!!!!!!!
Disc Jockeys > Club
We are looking for fun guys and gals to become DJs at our'r hot club's. Enjoy a fun, exciting environment!

U will need to know how to push a buttan on youre turn table that starts and stops the spinning. A Certificate III in Turntable Operation will be an advantage. U will also need a hot knowledge of club bangers from 2010-2012. We will train u in how to crab scratch (3 weeks unpaid training).

U can also use a ipod and our high level DJ MixMan software.


A FEW GOOD HYPE MEN
Live Performance > Hype Men!!!!!
Exciting new position with loads of variety and scope! Our crew is seeking experienced hype men for our upcoming tour! Must perform above 60 HPM (you will be tested) with 80% punchline accuracy!

Duties include jumping around on stage and shouting certain words into a microphone! Successful applicant will have a bubbly personality and the proven ability to multi-task!

Previous applicants or people who trip over microphone cords need not apply!

SEEKING GRILL CADDY

Misc > Jewelery

Do you want a flexible job that allows you to pick the kids up from school? Get the balance right.

I am looking for someone to manage my large collection of grills. You will be on-hand at studio sessions, gigs and rap events to suggest the optimal grill for the situation. Some of my grills contain spinners which must be kept in constant rotation so you will need a high level of patience and attention to detail, and the ability to reach inside my mouth while I am rapping.

To be successful in this position you will need an eye for grills and the ability to improvise in the event of a dental emergency. Must be willing to locate to Atlanta.

WILL RAP FOR FOOD

>Freelancers

Hello, my name is Nasir and I am willing to rap for you. I have a reputation as one of the greatest of all time, ask anyone.

I could perform services like modelling various outfits for you, or washing your car. If you're recording a rap video maybe I could drive past in the background. I can be your friend on Facebook and thumb your Youtube videos. I have extensive experience with CISCO routers and Lotus Notes. If your friend is in jail I can help you compose a letter to him. I am also available to ghostwrite mediocre rap songs.

Work history:
1994 - Released Illmatic
2001 - Released Stillmatic and had beef with Jay-Z, one of the greatest of all time.
2007 - Released my Greatest Hits

Your Choice: Kingz - Figgkidd and the Hall of Fameoz

In this new regular feature I will pay homage to the dopest oldschool kingz in the Aussie rap scene.

First inductee to the Oz Hip Hop HALL OF FAMEOZ: FIGGKIDD



The magical legend of Figgkidd started in 2004, when a young buck took time off playing Runescape to be discovered by a hotshot record executive while rapping to his mum in the shower. He got a deal with Sony and the rest his history...

He built up a lot of buzz on internet forums and released his debut album What Is Figgkidd in 2004. It had a lot of people confused at the time, everyone was eager to find out what a Figgkidd was. Once they found out they became loyal fans for life. Figgkidd's unique Eminem style was a perfect fit for the Aussie rap industry and he became a household name.




what am i watching

Maybe the success came a bit too soon for Figgkidd, as he found himself in the heady world of Channel V fame and cocaine hooker binges. During this time he was fucking so many bitches he couldn't even get his dick hard. The music suffered when he started rapping dumb fairytale shit that nobody wanted to hear, the intricite lyrics replaced with songs ghostwritten by infamous jerk Mark Holden. He even re-released his first album in a desperate attempt to recapture the magic but nobody seemed to care what a Figgkidd was anymore.

The post 2007 era (known to diehard 'Kidd fans as the 'Figgkidd Rennasaince') has been great for Aussie hip hop. Major acts like 360 and Hilltop Hoods get played on Nova every day but it wasn't always like this, they owe it all to Figgkidd; the Australian Eminem who broke through and showed us how our dope local rappers could compete with the best in the world. He still ranks in the official top 5 gifted lyricists to come out of the Southern Hemisphere.

Recently his Myspace page was hacked and the music was replaced with some dumb sounding rap music. In 2011 you can still catch the ghost of Figgkidd posting his inane responses to things on youtube but I wouldn't recommend it. The older headz are the only people who remember how dope Figgkidd was, and how Figgkiddmania gripped Australia in the summer of 2004. The legend of a young, upcoming Eminem will live forever in our hearts and the SKIPHOPZ OZ HIP HOP HALL OF FAMEOZ.

RAPPER REPORT CARD
FIGGKIDD
Vocabulary: 8
Articulation: 9
Creativity: 8
Originality: 10
Versatility: 9
Voice: 10
Records: 10
Stage Presence: 7
Sticking to Themes: 5
Innovating Rhythms: 7
83/100, B
"Silver Star"

Bias B Dead

 

 Rest in Peace young brother

Legendary Aussie rapper BIAS B was killed today in a tragic train accident. Witnesses report he jumped down onto the train tracks to save a child who had fallen there. As he handed the young boy to safety the express train came roaring into the station. As tears ran down his face Bias B turned to the strangers on the platform and said "Tell my wife I love her always-" before he was crushed under the steel carriage.

Panicked onlookers screamed at the paramedics telling them to save him but the doctor simply said "I cant bring back the dead bro, call a necromancer" as he scraped bloody remains from the rubble.

Local police have said the death should be a lesson to all rappers and members of the public, they should always wait until the green man comes on the sine.

Bias B was an icon to Sydney rap fans, with classic releases like Bee'z Wax and In Bed With Bias that still get copped by new listeners and bumped on the regular at house parties and the like. A vocal member of the Lyric Commission Crew, Bias was a staunch supporter of the Aussie hip hop scene. Many fans report that Bias B's music is perfect for blazing and he will be sorely missed. He was also a notorious graffiti vandal that escaped police capture by running away. Channel V will be screening a special memorial for Bias B on Sunday.

Things Bogans Like, the unofficial music video

Rolling in their grave: KERSER

IN a new regular feature I will explain which classic rappers are spinning in their graves due to the shitty new rap music of today...

The infamous KERSER is a battle raper from Sydney-town who is causing quite a stir on the facebook. Recently he boasted that his youtube video has 100000 views, big fucking deal. Many have put the hate on The Kerser because he is the most popular lad rapper in the country and the only battle MC who is openly gay. Despite these flaws most rap fans agree that he does indeed spit hot fyre, its probably better if we give in to his demands and step back for fear of being burned!


The Kerser in the booth during a steamy recording session

THE KERSER made a name for himself after an intense freestyle battle in the carpark after a Got Beef event, and when I say instense freestyle battle I mean stabbing a hobo to death with one of his many knives. Word on the streets says he was also seen in the area of the Black Saturday Bushfires in 2009 packing flint and steel, and he refuses to answer questions about his involvement with the Beaumont children.

For the above reasons and many more, P DIDDY is rolling in his grave.

f0rum n00B unofficla REMIX: PHATCHANCE - I DONT KNOW

we got dat hoverdog swag

90s Rappers: where are they now???

The 90s were the golden age of rap. Wealthy industrialists invested heavily in rap stocks and the funky cold medina was plentiful. Nobody could have guessed that the jiggy rap crash of the early 2000s was only a few short years away.

Have you ever wondered what happened to your favourite rappers from the 90s? In this new series of regular posts I will give u the 411 on these one hit wonders...


WILL "BIG WILLIE" SMITH
Famous for: His mom getting scared, relocating to cohabitate with relatives in the Los Angeles suburb of Bel Air. Blowing up the white house.
Where is he now: Making another Bad Boys movie. I am not making this up.


SNOW
Famous for: Being white. Ruining MC Shan's career with his infamous hit single 'Informer' (WARNING: DO NOT CLICK, YOU WILL BE SORRY)
Where is he now: Mysteriously out of prison, not being hassled by police at all. Meanwhile all his former friends are no doubt rotting in jail and out for revenge. The drama continues.


NAS
Famous for: Being dissed by our lord and savior Jay-Z.
Where is he now: Changed his name to 'N' (just one syllable). Allegedly still releasing music, probably on some small label nobody cares about.

360 feat. Josh Pyke - THROW IT AWAY

Apparently I am a rap journalist so mayb its time to talk about some rap again...

Vanilla Ice lookalike and rare butterfly collector THREE SIXXTY has released a new single from his bumper Spring album featuring the infamous JOSH PYKE. The song is called THROW IT AWAY and it is an examle of everything that is wrong with the youth of today.






" yo i dont wanna work till i'm 50
and spend wot i've earned till i'm 60 " (pun intended?)


360 wears his bullshit generation-y entitlement issues on his sleeve, laying the hate on people who have to work for a living while rhyming over drums softer than Ke$ha's ass. A Triple J hottest 100 contender! A surefire hit among people who vote Liberal, do tax returns and put sugar on their Weetbix.  *click here to like this on facebook* My recommendation? Turn 360 degrees and walk away!


"forvive me, maybe its my lack of sleep
but i feel lke i hav 2 dream!"

Of course 360, you are never able to get any sleep. Your life as a coolhunting rebel on the wild side of the flannelette shirt debate is hard. Guess what dude, Your Boy Bangs had a rough life as well, growing up in Sudan, and he never came across as a whiney teenager writing in his dream diary. He goes hard.

However if everything goes to plan 360 will not have to work very hard at all, you can buy his songs on itunes for the low low price of $2.19 and he even released a clean version you can buy for your grandma. But hey, its not like he lets the money control him or anything!

Check out 360's site on the world wide webbizone

Internet Rappers: HOT or NOT?

in this new regular feature i report on which internet rappers are the new hotness, or not as the case may be.



Adelaide rapper ESKATOLOGY is HOT. his new album MARTYR MUSIC has several hot tracks on it.

"catch me on facebook, fuck twitter"

'Dada' (Feat. Dan The Underdog) is a real hot track with a real nice vibe. There are plenty of horns and rolling basslines to be heard.

Unfortunately some of the other songs like 'Hope' sound way too serious and emo. they didnt tickle my fancy. but since the album is free you may as well give it a listen or download! HOLLA.

BEEF ROUNDUP

last week beef kicked off on the ozhiphop forums when the famous turntable jedi DJ SHEEP called out DJ BUTCHER of the "crate creeps" crew

"he’s a chump without any records and just a bunch of MP3s… Crate Creeps need to change their name to the MP3 masters or some shit."

SHEEP apparently had some beef with BUTCHER over cash owed for a track. he also called out DJ CUTLOOSE and "DJ LL Cool James", saying he wanted to battle them all. the thread was mysteriously deleted, twice, but has been reposted on Peak Street.

the beef took a dramatic turn when oz hip hop legend BIAS B called out SHEEP on twitter as a hypocrite.



the drama continues...

excluuuuuuuuusive new shit: PEGZ

Tha capricorn cat is back. A leaked song off his new album DRAMA has Obese Records CEO PEGZ rhyming over a dope beat by the hottest scene queen M-PHAZEZ.

listen to it on my favourite website peak street: http://peakstreet.com/post/4181799274/pegz1

But he aint no hollaback girl, PEGZ is all about drinking battery acid and putting his nuts in some chicks mouth. He also does a cool accent in this song. the album is sure 2 be a heater so look out for it!

def def def def def def def def