Tha Kerser - The Nebulizer REVIEWED

The wee laddie KERSER made a name for himself by (alledgedly) selling 3000 copies of his hot mixtape, without any distro or even brushing his teeth. I also writted about his youtube video which has blown up. His name has created quite a buzz around the homeland of Aussie hip hop; Sydney's North Shore, causing lads to shout "Kerser is the sickest" in the streets.

Now THE NEBULIZER is released, the debut (or 'de butt', as the case may be) album from infamous lad rapper KERSER.

The hotbeats on this album were made by Uncle Nevs from Goonbag Radio. There are some cool joints with innovating rhythms more common to a discotech of the 1940s (Hitler Rap) but with a lot more swearing. These dumb Casio ringtone beats are enough to leave the true rap pioneers spinning in their graves.

This lad will go down in history as the true Aussie Eminem...if Eminem was produced by a shitty Justice cover band. The best track on THE NEBULIZER is "Gonna Get Hi Today", a smooth R&B joint all about smoking your boyfriend's cock. Think about that for a minute.



All of the hooks are terrible, with dumb lyrics like "Do the KERS bitch". These songs are sure to be a huge hit among blithering idiots with no mental capacity. There are also some guest appearances from some lame nobodies in Kerser's crew that will have you throwing bottles at your stereo and yelling at it to stop.

The topics covered by THE KERSER'S range from "Kerser is the sickest" and "Kerser is the dopest" to "Don't fuck with Kerser". Something for everyone...as long as youre a lad on Kerser's dick. THE NEBULIZER seems to be a pretty popular album so far, it even made top of the pops on iTunes! It's a shame Kerser swears so much and is a total jerk to everyone he meets...otherwise his music would get major airplay on Nova for sure!

I give this album a thumbs up. 4 Harolds out of 5, but don't take my word for it.


How can u argue with this? (Pic from Kerser's Facebook page)

Get to know Kerser...THE KERSER FACTS:

• He doesnt own a suit (why would he?)
• He has the Chinese symbol for "I suck dirty dicks for money" tattooed on his arse
• He got the idea to become a rapper when he saw Will Smith in Wild Wild West
• Other lads refer to KERSER as "The Chosen One"
• His cousin is Andrew G from Video Hits
• The Devil tried to buy his soul at the crossroads but Kerser's crew rolled him and ran off with his shoes
• He has a huge dick, that thing is friggin ginormous. He showed it to me on MSN.

RAPPER REPORT CARD
THE KERSER
Vocabulary: 6
Articulation: 8
Creativity: 7
Originality: 8
Versatility: 8
Voice: 6
Records: 7
Stage Presence: 7
Sticking to Themes: 6
Innovating Rhythms: 9
72/100, C
"Take Pride in Your Work"

Internet Rappers: HOT or NOT?

in this new regular feature i report on which internet rappers are the new hotness, or not as the case may be.



Adelaide rapper ESKATOLOGY is HOT. his new album MARTYR MUSIC has several hot tracks on it.

"catch me on facebook, fuck twitter"

'Dada' (Feat. Dan The Underdog) is a real hot track with a real nice vibe. There are plenty of horns and rolling basslines to be heard.

Unfortunately some of the other songs like 'Hope' sound way too serious and emo. they didnt tickle my fancy. but since the album is free you may as well give it a listen or download! HOLLA.

NEW RAPPER: all about SYKO

SYKO is one of australias hottest new rappers straight out of the mean streets of Compton on Sydneys north shore. he has been making a splash with over 20 people showing up to his gigs, over 30 friends on facebook, over 50 twitter followers and over 8 contact numbers in his phone. he released a big budget video for his first single which has over 100 views on youtube!



this song is all about SYKO's special girl who is also his sister. no society taboo will come between there love!

SYKO began writing music at the age of 13 when he released a mixtape which was downloaded by 30000 people (without any heavy promotion!). from there his career took off and be began playing shows to crowds of approximately 60,000-70,000 while being named RAPPER OF THE YEAR, no shit. His first album is still in the works so dont sleep on it.

on his second song "never the same" SYKO slows things down for tha ladies on sum T-PAIN shit. the song is all about finding out youre gay and you have to leave your girlfriend behind. unfortunatly the autotune sounds weak and you cant dance to it, so expect this to flop harder than Vlade Divac in a flopping competition. he also has zero swag, btw.

I think SYKO needs to get sum better producers and hooks if he wants to be a rap superman. otherwise he should jump on his candy painted fixie and ride home. but dont take my word for it, heres what others are saying...

"gay lookn superman shirt, gay green hat and nerd glasses " -PatosBreegz

" I'm getting pretty excited about how bad this guy is. " - Billybee

"This song very meaningful i like it " -bipola



read more about SYKO and jerk off to the pictures on his offical website http://www.sykomusic.com/

All About Big Slang: press release breakdown

He had started at school, from the prime age of thirteen, participating in lunch time diss battles in 2005.
did u hear that guys? 2005 was the year in which the lunch time diss battles began...just for the record. For years historians have debated the timeline but now we can put the controversy to bed. For youre information he was 13 years old at the time, mind you. I am telling you this so when our far off ancestors uncover the remains of BIG SLANG's press release they will make sure the date is recorded and nobody is allowed to forget the fated year of 2005.

This Assyrian-Australian artist calls his talent a blessing and a gift from the Lord, as he had started writing lyrics out of nowhere.
...Later he had found his talent of writing actual and heart touching lyrics.
so basically the lyrics he got from god were a piece of shit

After he had quickly rushed through all his tests and work without hardly reading the questions, he would take out his pad and a pen and start to write lyrics.
Early 2007 saw Big Slang being expelled from school
why am i not surprised...
...but he saw it as an opening for rapping.
yeah , nah

"Everybody knows Im emotional, and everybody knows there's two sides to me, the real soft side and the real hard side."

the white tupac, the black eminem!

With everybody vibin off these tracks, Slang knows this album is whats gonna be the hottest thing once completed.
not everybody is vibin off them, I'm just sayin. u might want to revise your prediction there.

With his eyes set and dreams of becoming number one, Slang is plotting and planning his schemes to get there. What the fuck, this guy is on sum lazers on the moon type shit, apparently the first step is to post a photo of himself half naked and sucking his stomach in.

dont take my word for it, read what others are saying on BIG SLANG's unearthed page
personally i think he should remain buried

Trem - OMEGA MAN

OMEGA MAYNE is the longly awaited hit single from sydney aussie rapper TREM (a.k.a. Trem Wunners, Tremmy, Ice-Tream). fans have complained long and hard about his solo album (i have provided you a countdown timer on my blog!) but has this song been enough to wet their appitite?

we from a long lost planet where rap is real (editors note: Earth)
still intact and untapped by the mass appeal





The song has a stomping beat with a rolling bassline that was produced by none other than my boy PROWLER. sound like some shit from a horror movie soundtrack by DR DRE!

I like the lyrics in this song becoz TREM is doing what he does best...calling out the clowns in the scene! apparantly Trem doesnt give a shit about mainstream success, he'd rather be broke and have a hole lot of respect which is why he charges the low low price of $48 (inc postage and handling) for a CD single BUT WAIT THERES MORE u also get a t-shirt with Trems name on it so you can pretend to be trem when you jerk off in front of your bedroom mirror listening to OMEGA MAN. Alpha as fuck!

as alwayz...dont take my word for it.

bukkcity mixtape review

who is bukkcity? "some fag, i dunno" may be the typical response. the truth is we dont know. we have seen a lot of oz rappers pretending to be american thugs but bukkcity is the opposite! how ironic. ive emailed a copy of this album to the federal police just in case.




the bukkcity 'underdog' mixtape is based on the movie "underworld" its about niggers, crime and corruption, basically. the story is about some gangsterland gangsters who sold drugs and got caught by the cops (SPOILER). i havent seen the tv show and i dont live in sydney so i cant speak on the accuracy of that

the beats are all jacked (stolen) so u know its dat raw shit...bukkcity doesnt give a fuk if he gets sued becoz he'll probly be dead soon anyway. but the beats are dope and banging anyway. his style is a cross between sarr and 50 cent so youve got all bases covered there...the whole range of dope gangsters. there is a fair bit of swearing and adult themes and violence on the album, id describe it as rugged and raw drug gangsterland pimp shit.

some random one liners that sum up the mixtaep:
"im from tha city we do shit"
"i drive a spaceship. nigga 2008 shit"
"u might have nightmares but we never wake from our dreams"
"we get free entry, free drinks and a fat bitch"

oh, and btw there are lots of gunshot sound effects on this album so be warned. just letting u know so u dont freak out.

mind over matter review

JUST REPOSTING SUM OLD SHIT THAT WAS LOST WHEN MY OLD SITE WAS DELETED......

MIND OVAR M@TTER are the hot new thing from melb label NURCHAR RECORDZ which is home to many super rappers and super groups like gangstor raper "bevan b" and "double" [check out my dubs] so expectaions are V V high for this CD [somecall it the new hotness]



the ppl in MINDS OVAR M@TTER are MC SIMLES adn DJ WILLOW and sum others who also made tha beatz

for a long time folks hav asked me 'forum n00b when are we gonna see a rapgroup who have the style of hilltop hoods and funk oars and are also staunch faggots in there own right???' well the answer is here becoz mind ovar mattor are basicly a rip off of all ozzie rap and there wearing there pants wayyy too tight to GIVE A FUCK what u think

the cover "ART" for this CD is SIMLES and WILLOW making a funny face a t tha camera... wow how ORIGINAL! did u notice the NURCHAR RECORDS shirt? [size=5]its caled PRODUKT PLACEMANT!

they also have to to wear clothes picked out for them by a sponsor
every1 in rap has a sponsor your not cool unles u hav a sponsor!!!! i herd these fags go to fashion shows with KANYE WEST and PUFF DIDDY in the hamptans. they cant even leave there house with out asking their sponsor first lol

oh yeh speaking of KANYE the singel from this cd is called PROUD and i'ts the ARROGANT rap song i hav heard since JAY WESS AND THE FAGSTREET BOYS PLAYED A GAY CLUB AT UNION SQUARE fuckers

the rap styles of MINDS OVER MATTAR are like crossed btween the gay guy from OUTCAST adn QTIP from DELA SOUL with a big big dose of HILLTOP HOODZ thrown in tha mix excxept they are 14 years old and more anoying

listening to this is like being stung by a bee. there are sum dope bass lines but realy not enuff to distract from the anoying lyrics i give it 2 stars out of 5 its really like a produkt placement for nurchar and its a DISGRACE how ppl listen to these fags instead of propa underground rap they shud be sponsored by my fist in their face

PLZ LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK

I JUST DRINKED A REDBULL