Hip Hop Jobs

As part of my ongoing service to the unemployed brothers out there I will be reposting select job ads from SERCH; the hip hop employment website.

DJs WANTED
nO EXPERIENCE NECESSARy!!!!!!!!!
Disc Jockeys > Club
We are looking for fun guys and gals to become DJs at our'r hot club's. Enjoy a fun, exciting environment!

U will need to know how to push a buttan on youre turn table that starts and stops the spinning. A Certificate III in Turntable Operation will be an advantage. U will also need a hot knowledge of club bangers from 2010-2012. We will train u in how to crab scratch (3 weeks unpaid training).

U can also use a ipod and our high level DJ MixMan software.


A FEW GOOD HYPE MEN
Live Performance > Hype Men!!!!!
Exciting new position with loads of variety and scope! Our crew is seeking experienced hype men for our upcoming tour! Must perform above 60 HPM (you will be tested) with 80% punchline accuracy!

Duties include jumping around on stage and shouting certain words into a microphone! Successful applicant will have a bubbly personality and the proven ability to multi-task!

Previous applicants or people who trip over microphone cords need not apply!

SEEKING GRILL CADDY

Misc > Jewelery

Do you want a flexible job that allows you to pick the kids up from school? Get the balance right.

I am looking for someone to manage my large collection of grills. You will be on-hand at studio sessions, gigs and rap events to suggest the optimal grill for the situation. Some of my grills contain spinners which must be kept in constant rotation so you will need a high level of patience and attention to detail, and the ability to reach inside my mouth while I am rapping.

To be successful in this position you will need an eye for grills and the ability to improvise in the event of a dental emergency. Must be willing to locate to Atlanta.

WILL RAP FOR FOOD

>Freelancers

Hello, my name is Nasir and I am willing to rap for you. I have a reputation as one of the greatest of all time, ask anyone.

I could perform services like modelling various outfits for you, or washing your car. If you're recording a rap video maybe I could drive past in the background. I can be your friend on Facebook and thumb your Youtube videos. I have extensive experience with CISCO routers and Lotus Notes. If your friend is in jail I can help you compose a letter to him. I am also available to ghostwrite mediocre rap songs.

Work history:
1994 - Released Illmatic
2001 - Released Stillmatic and had beef with Jay-Z, one of the greatest of all time.
2007 - Released my Greatest Hits