William Shakespeare Dead at 52

Legendary English poet/playwright Will Shakespeare is dead. The tragic discovery was made by high school student Jennifer Wilkins at Boston Town Library earlier today.

"I was flicking through a biography of Will Shakespeare and it said he was dead, I was so sad I had to put the book down and let everybody know about it." She said, even as she texted the news to her friends.

The news quickly spread to Twitter and Facebook where a page dedicated to the medieval rapper's death got thousands of likes and it became a trending topic worldwide. In an incredible outpouring of creativity, wellwishers on Blingee.com have created hundreds of tributes to the great man. Pop group Linkin Park have authorised the use of their music for unofficial fan tribute videos on Youtube.

Some people were skeptical at first, as enemies of Will Shakespeare had made up fake reports of his death before. But the story was soon picked up by CNN and edited into the Wikipedia.

According to official sources, Will died in 1826 on April 23rd. The cause of death is not known, even wikipedia doesn't know. Shakespeare's family were unable to be reached for comment and his grave site cannot be located even by the latest GPS gadgets. Many Shakespeare fans have cited these anomalies as proof the writer might still be alive, some have put forth the theory that the @horse_ebooks twitter account is being run by William Shakespeare who faked his own death and leaves clues about the truth in his Twitter postings.

Whatever his true fate, MTV will be screening a special memorial for Shakespeare on Friday.

R.I.P   Will Shakespeare   1812 - 1938

The 5 Realest Rap Criminals

THE anals of hip hop history are full of rappers acting hard and admitting to crimes they never really did. But there are some rappers who walked the walk. Skiphopz Dot Com counts down 5 of the realest criminals in rap...


5. LLOYD BANKS

Coming in at number 5 on the list, Mr Lloyd Banks has terrorized dozens of people with his annoying act of stealing umbrellas. Whenever he leaves a cafe or indoor location where people store umbrellas near the entrance, he takes one. When an elderly man pointed out "Thats my umbrella" Lloyd simply replied "Come and take it!" before skipping out the door laughing. None of the victims have pressed charges and at the time of writing he remains a rap criminal at large.



4. DR. DRE

The public facade of 'The Good Doctor' is nothing more than an elaborate ruse invented by the infamous Dr Dre while he continues to work his dark arts behind closed doors. These unspeakable acts make him our 4th most feared assassin of all time. The fact that Dre never went to medical school has not stopped him from opening his own medical practice, fronted by a real doctor named Dr Marshall Mathers, where he allegedly cuts people up into small pieces and sews them back together in his spare time. In a recent interview Dre said his "work" is nearly complete and Detox will be released soon, we can only guess at what secrets lie behind that mysterious locked door in his basement.



3. RICK ROSS

Number 3 on our list of dumbest criminal masterminds is none other than the fat man himself, Rick Ross. Ross decided he would steal five cents from every bank account in the world, thinking he could make a lot of money and remain undetected. So he started hanging around ATMs and beating people up, stealing their cards and forcing them to give up their PIN at knifepoint, then he would withdraw the five cents. Rick Ross has made over $15 from these crimes. He is a wanted criminal in 9 states, his current whereabouts unknown.



2. VINNIE PAZ

The 'Pazmanian Devil' is as notorious as he is feared. He made his name sneaking into orphanages during feeding time, using his babyface to avoid detection by the guards. He would make his way to the head of the feeding line, hold a bowl in to the air and say "Please sir, may I have some more?" before pulling out a samurai sword and going to town, brutally slicing the throats of any who dare try to run. He would then sit in the bloodsoaked room eating his fill of beans and porridge. If you see a fat manchild covered in tattoos please call Crimestoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.



1. WILL SMITH

Our number one rapping serial killer has to be Big Willie himself, Will 'The Fresh Prince' Smith. His sadistic acts are legendary, starting with the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990. Once his brutality was unleashed, he knew no boundaries, torturing, killing, cannibalizing victims, both male and female.

With the release of his Code Red album in 1993, Smith's lyrics became darker as he ruminated on the terrible events of 1990. One night after a concert in Florida he became angry with a young girl for laughing at him when he propositioned her for sex. He beat her until she was unconscious with the help of 'Jazzy Jeff', then raped, sodomized, and tortured her before dumping her weighted body into a swamp. Jazzy Jeff was shaken by the experience and begged Will Smith to turn himself in, but Smith simply laughed, pulled out a dagger and threatened to cut off Jeff's balls if he ever spoke of what happened this night. Will Smith continued to kill after each live performance. Encouraged by his success he worked on mastering this skill of torture, often keeping his mutilated victims alive for weeks. The killings became more macabre and sadistic each year, he sometimes cannibalized parts of their bodies while they watched in horror or forced them to participate in the eating.



In 1997 the hip hop task force special investigation into the missing groupies was turning up enough leads that pointed the finger at Smith. After a search of Will Smith's estate uncovered clothing worn by one of the girls, Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff were indited for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. While awaiting trial in prison, Jazzy Jeff broke down under police pressure and told authorities about Will Smith's other killings, starting in 1990.

Two weeks before he was due to give evidence at the murder trial, Jazzy Jeff disappeared. Two weeks later his scrotum was discovered nailed to the door of the New York Supreme Court. Will Smith claimed he had nothing to do with it, and the prosecution was forced to dismiss the case due to a lack of evidence. The families of the victims were outraged. They claimed Will Smith's powerful Hollywood connections were influencing the course of justice.

The mysterious disappearances of groupies on Will Smith's world tours had almost stopped in 1999, until Smith ordered a press conference and taunted police by saying the 'Willenium' was coming and he could not be stopped. In the decade form 2000 to 2010 there were at least 180 confirmed cases of girls, some as young as 12, disappearing after being last seen at a Will Smith concert. Some experts have claimed Will Smith may be the most prolific serial killer of all time.

Ebay removes 'RAP' category from vinyl record listings

IT has come to the attention of SKIPHOPZ that popular websight 'E-BAY' (the electronic bay) has removed hiphop/rap from it's auction listings for vinal records. What the hell do those nerds even know about RAP?

The disturbing news was revealed on Ozhiphop forums. This is nothing less than a insult to all rap listeners on the web. I am mad as hell right now...and not just because i have spent the afternoon reading spam message board posts SHOTS HAVE BEEN FIRED

ebay placed this monolith in an airport corridor to impede pedestrians

Tha relationship between ebay and the rap community has always been strained, ever since i gave some guy in brazil a 1 star rating because he sold me a Drake CD. Drake fukking sucks as we are all aware!

What can we do, as a rapping community, to force ebay to change their ways???

We will spread tha word on our' blogs and google waves. We will not rest until 'RAP' is a main category on the site, along with boats and jeans with rhinestones all over them (THE JEANS NOT THE BOATS)

Jazz Musician Morgan Freeman Dead at 90

(This story is still developing) Influential actor Morgan Freeman is dead. According to official sources he died in hospital this morning following a heart attack.

The news was broken by popular internet news website 'The Global Daily'
http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1347258242.html

Goodnight sweet prince

Freeman was rushed to Fair Oaks hospital after complaining of chest pains during a morning run earlier today, according to official sources. Efforts to save the actor failed at around 6:30 AM. The death has come as a shock to friends and family, who report that Freeman was in good health up until the massive heart attack ended his life.

Freeman will be remembered for his Academy Award winning performances and charity work. He was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the foremost actors of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Bill Cosby Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...R.I.P'. Morgan Freeman was 75 years old.

Listening to Canibus 'permanently lowers IQ', new study finds

World Global Reuters Daily - 7 September 2013

  TEENAGERS who regularly listen to popular rap artist Canibus are putting themselves at risk of permanently damaging their intelligence, according to a landmark study. 

  Researchers found persistent listeners of the rapper, who started listening to his music at school, had lower IQ scores as adults.  They were also significantly more likely to have attention and memory problems in later life, than their peers who listened to normal music. Furthermore, those who started as teenagers and listened heavily, but quit as adults, did not regain their full mental powers, found academics at King’s College London and Duke University in the US.

The rapper Canibus, one of the major health concerns in America today

  Professor Terrie Moffitt, of KCL’s Institute of Psychiatry, who contributed to the study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, said “persistent listeners” who started as teenagers suffered a drop of twelve IQ points at the age of 28, compared to when they were 15. Persistent users meant those who listened to at least one Canibus album per week from ages from 18 to 28. She said: “Adolescent-onset Canibus listeners showed marked IQ decline from childhood to adulthood.

  “Research has shown that IQ is a strong determinant of a person’s access to a college education, their lifelong total income, their access to a good job, their performance on the job, their tendency to develop heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and even early death,” she said. “Individuals who lose twelve IQ points in their teens and 20s may be disadvantaged, relative to their same-age peers, in most of the important aspects of life and for years to come.” The cognitive abilities of the 10 per cent of people who started listening to Canibus in their 20s also suffered while they were still listening. However, if they gave up at least a year before their IQ test at 28, their intelligence recovered, suggesting their brains were more resilient and bounced back.

 This man never had a chance, due to Canibus damaging his brain at a young age

  Prof Moffitt said adolescent brains appeared "more vulnerable to damage and disruption" from Canibus than those of fully mature adults. Reliable figures on Canibus usage among today’s British teens and twentysomethings are hard to come by. But Prof Moffitt said there was growing concern in the US that Canibus was increasingly becoming seen as one of the greatest lyricists of our time. “This is the first year that more secondary school students in the US are listening to Canibus than Eminem, according to the Monitoring the Future project at the University of Michigan,” she noted. “Fewer now think Canibus is more damaging than Lil Wayne, but Canibus is harmful for the very young.”

Skiphopz: The Book, Rejected 1st Chapter

Steve Stevenson
 

  IT was meant to be the grand entrance of all entrances - but Hugh Jackman's flying fox swoop into the Oprah Show took a tragic turn. Jackman was nearing the stage of the Opera House when he struck a chainsaw, severing his legs.

  Oprah rushed to Jackman’s aid, making light of his injury. "Bono was meant to do this but they couldn’t afford the insurance," she told the 6000- strong audience. Jackman remained calm and asked for a last cigarette as he lay on the stage bleeding, saying "That was too much fun. It was okay until the end". with his children watching in the audience and visibly upset, Oprah told the audience "Oh we’re going to see that on the news, over and over again.”

   IT was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs. Steve Stevenson checked over his post one more time while his mouse cursor hovered over the 'Submit' button. It was a snappy news piece about Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman severing his legs in an onstage accident. A surefire hit, bound to bring some traffic in. It might be the best thing he had written since his recent article about Bill Cosby's supposed death. Steve laughed a crazy laugh, like nails being thrown against a whiteboard. 

  He was about to publish the latest version of Skiphopz.com when an IM window popped up. This was odd, as he didn't have AOL Instant Messenger installed on this computer, or did he? Using this antiquated program was like being in a time machine. The message was from a user named Bill_Cosbys_Ghost, who spoke in all caps.

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: ZIP ZAP BOP I'M STILL HERE, KID

Steve: who is this?

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: WHERE AM I, SOME KIND OF COMPUTER GAME WITH THE WHIZZKIDS AND THE GADGETS?

Steve: get a life dude

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: I WANT YOU TO GO TO HELL AND SIT ON A RED HOT COAL AND WAIT FOR ME

   Steve closed the window and logged off. Cosby's Ghost was a creative troll, in a way, but how pathetic. That guy needs to get a job, take up a constructive hobby. He switched on the TV and flicked around the channels until he saw Dan Rathers and a news report that made him produce an involuntary silent cough and drop the remote.

   Bill Cosby was dead.

   Then the phone rang.

The Editor

Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing? Was this written by an author? You clearly have no grasp of basic grammar and punctuation. You're not following the conventions. This font is totally inappropriate and the margins are way off. You aren't setting the scene at all. The characters are not believable. Your prose reads like something my granddaughter would write, and she is 5 years old! Get it together.

Bill Cosby
 

  There's a website, www.something-or-other, I forget what, that has the history of everyone who's ever lived on it. You just have to specify exactly who you're looking for and you can read all about them. But I looked up myself, and for some reason my entry ended abru