If you like strippers this is the video for you

How thoughtful of you. Thanks Tim!

Chris Brown finally stands up to Rihanna

In a move that has rocked the entertainment world, famous crooning rapman Chris Brown has taken legal action his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. He is asking for $10 million in damages and a restraining order against Rihanna to stop her spreading her genital herpes from Barbados.

"Rihanna gave me herpes and then when I threatened to file a lawsuit against her for not telling me she was infested with genital blisters she began to hit herself in the face and throw herself into walls just as Jim Carrey did in the movie 'Liar, Liar."

"Then she turned around and blamed me for the matter as a form of punishment."

"I woke up with three blisters on my penis ... this isn't just a regular case of American herpes, this is a case of Herpes from Barbados, which is most likely lethal."

Brown has employed an expensive team of lawyers to push his case and will be calling Jim Carrey as an expert witness to demonstrate the way somebody can hit themself in the face and crush their own head in a toilet. Jim Carrey has stuck by his best friend Chris Brown ever since the wicked whore Rihanna came into his life and destroyed it. We at SkipHopz Dot Com will continue to support Chris Brown and hope he can find the justice he has been missing for so long.

Rihanna (if that is her real name) could not be reached for commnent, at the time of writing she was most likely summoning a demon with the help of the illuminati and making up more lies about Chris Brown from her Palace of Thorns in Barbados.

The Pliers of Chakademus to release solo album

Following successful solo ventures by fellow Jedi Mind Tricks members Stopue and Vinne Paz, the Pliers of Chakademus is set to release its debut album 'Billion Dollar Latte'.

The Pliers got their first break on the semenal Jedi Mind album 'Violent By Design'. During recording there was a problem when a microphone cord broke and needed to be held together. Stoupe (the Enemy of Mankind) found the Pliers in a drawer in his laundry and brought them to the studio. They worked so magnificently that Jus Allah suggested they give the Pliers a bigger role on the album. Although their background vocals and production work was uncredited at the time, Vinne Paz gave the pliers a shoutout with the classic lyric "Rip off your fingers with the Pliers of Chakademus". The Pliers would later leverage this into numerous mixtape appearances. In 2009 the Pliers of Chakademus were signed to Interscope records.

The Pliers of Chakademus with Vinnie Paz at the 2012 MTV Movie Awards

The religious leanings of the Pliers have always been a hot topic of discussion among hip hop fans. Vinnie Paz has recently criticised the Pliers for not following the word of Allah. He also said the Pliers of Chakademus were not even needlenose, and therefore useless for any small work that needed to be done. The Pliers responded by calling Vinne a 'needledick' and saying they didn't want any beef but there was a differnt version if Islam for pliers (which is true) and all tools must follow their own path. The Pliers of Chakademus have a positive message for the youth that comes through in their music.

Clamps has been a worthy adversary for the Pliers but they have kept their beef on wax.

The critical reception to the new album has been mixed. Pitchfork Media was enamoured with the release, adding it to their coveted 'best new music'. The Sydney Morning Herald was less impressed, they took issue with the repetitive beats "Which sound like a pair of pliers opening and closing," and the 'lyrics' which are apparently "A combination of metallic clanking and grinding noises." Highlights on the album include the diss track to Clamps of Futurama and the titular song, a 7 minute epic featuring Vinnie Paz. Rapper Ludacris features on 8 of the 12 songs on the album.

Billion Dollar Latte is available for preorder at Soulclap Records and Next Level Records.
It is available for download from Kazaa and Limewire.

Peter Andre Bites Talib Kweli

 

 Portrait of a biter

Underground rap singer Talib Kweli is recovering in hospital tonight after being bitten by a crazed Peter Andre.

The surprising incident took place in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria in New York. Kweli was signing autographs for fans when he was interrupted by a crazed Peter Andre who flung himself at the rap singer. Andre bit Kweli on the face and jaw before latching onto his arm and removing a strip of flesh. He was restrained by hotel security but managed to escape while they attempted to contact police. He was heard running away while yelling "It was love at first bite! I will find you again Talib, nobody can keep us apart!"

 

Kweli was shaken by the incident but he remains in good spirits. He was quoted saying "I feel bad for Peter, he is in a dark place right now and I honestly wish him the best."

Andre could not be reached for comment. His agent released a statement saying "This is an uncharacteristic biting by Peter. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding and he will emerge from hiding soon to explain himself." Police have asked anyone with information about his whereabouts to contact Crime Stoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

Peter Andre was one the biggest and amazing sensational artists of the 1990s who created a fad among all the music lovers across the globe with his illustrious and stunning, ”Mysterious Girl” and who still continues to amaze his fans by his flair. He doesn't have any known diseases so its no big deal if he bites you. The accomplished performer is well known for his brilliant come back in 2006 who rocked the UK charts with his album A Whole New World. After the spectacular musical success of the album, Peter Andre continues to delight his fans with all the astonishing albums. Be it Revelation (2009) – with dark lyrics which was a bit different from his previous style, Unconditional : Love Songs (2011) or Accelerate (2010) which entered the UK charts in its first week.