Breaking Bad Season 5 Leaked Script

TOP SECRET - CONFIDENTIAL BREAKING BAD SEASON 5 OFFICIAL SCRIPT

FOR EYES ONLY

S05 [part 2] E04

SCENE - Jesse and Walt have conspired to cook one last great batch of 110% pure supermeth in Hank's basement while he is at the policeman's ball

Jesse: Hey Mister Walter White, who is my chemist professor and best friend, please pass the beaker so I can drip this purple liquid steam into a spiral tube, this shit gon be da bomb yo!

Walt: I swear, you are so incompetent Jesse although you are reluctantly my protege we are quite an odd couple and working with you is a bother! Will you PLEASE try to not be such an inconvenience...I wouldn't even want to cook nachos with you for crying out loud!

Jesse: Actually Mister White I am cooking nachos in your antique mortar and pestle upstairs, they should be done right about now...

*explosion sound* *Jess and Walt stare at each other as microwave crashes through the basement roof and tips over table full of glassware*

Jesse: I guess it wasn't microwave safe? 

Walt: JESSE!!!

*Hank enters the scene, walking down stairs into basement*

Jesse (whispering): I thought you said he wasn't supposed to be home until late!

Hank: what are you two handsome bastards doing in my basementroonie? Walt, who's the kid?

Walt: He's a friend of a friend, I am putting him on a straight and narrow path

Hank: Glad to hear it buddy. Listen, the toilet upstairs is blocked and I need to drop the cosby kids off at the pool, if you know what I mean heh hehh hehh

*Hank enters basement toilet room and closes door*

Walt (whispering in harsh voice): THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Jesse: ALL-RIGHT already! Don't have a cow Mr White, I will think of something...

Hank (from behind toilet door): hey is it just me or can anyone else smell meth cooking in here?

*walt slowly reaches into jacket and hands jesse a tiny gun*

Walt: There's no time. You have to do it, its the only way. Now or never Jesse

*Jesse raises gun to his own head and pulls the trigger*
*but his hand slips and bullet richochets off a drainpipe into the toilet door*

Walt: NOOOOOOOOOO you idiot!!!

*toilet door busts open, Hank is covered in blood with pants around his ankles and gun drawn*

Hank (shouting and aiming his gun around): SHOTS FIRED REQUESTING BACKUP. WALT, GET DOWN! GET DOWN! THE CARTEL HAVE RETURNED TO FINISH THE JOB!

*Walt grimaces at Jesse with a knowing and fatherly look*
*Jesse runs to cower under broken table while Walt grabs the gun turns and fires three shots at Hank's back*

Jesse: What the hell did you just do man!? NOT COOL!

Walt: Finally, my job here is done

Hank (crawling down stairs dying): WALT! Did Skyler ask you to do this? It was Skyler trying to kill me all along, wasnt it. Or your son, I know he had something to do with this!

*Walk walks over and pours a beaker of half-cooked meth into Hank's mouth*

Walt: Goodnight, sweet prince

Marie (shouting from upstairs): Hank, are you down there? What the hell did you put in the microwave?

Jesse: Mister White, how are we gonna get out of here now?

*Jesse runs over to basement window and tries to open it*

Jesse: its stuck!

Walt: Unstick it then! Can't you do anything right? 

Jesse: Do something! There must be something you can use among all these chemicals

*Walt turns and stares at batch of freshly cooked meth*

Walt: Eureka. Jesse, fetch my pipe.

Alien Planet Supports Life, All Manchester United Fans

NASA held a press conference today confirming that the Voyager space probe had crashed on a previously unknown planet 8.2 light years from earth. As the damaged probe beamed back scientific data and video it was revealed that the alien beings who inhabit this world are huge fans of English soccer team Manchester United.

Head scientist Dr. Waleed Abdalati admitted he was baffled at first. As soon as the spherical Voyager probe crashed it was picked up by one of the local inhabitants and carried to one of the many nearby soccer pitches where humanoid creatures took turns dribbling and kicking it into an empty net, in an imitation of Ryan Giggs' 'goal of the century'. The indigenous life forms of the planet 61 Vir B are similar to humans, the main physiological differences being a larger cranium, a single eye instead of two and an intense obsession with all things Manchester United.

The probe also recorded footage of the surrounding streets, which are all named after former Manchester United players. A row of solid gold statues depicting former United star Cristiano Ronaldo stands on a nearby piazza. Twice a day the alien beings will stop whatever they are doing and run to a nearby TV to observe the sacred Manchester United training session. The local culture is quite advanced, they even have their own version of the internet which is conducted through futuristic fax machines however it is mostly used for fantasy football and streaming Sky Sports and MUTV so they can watch every minute of Manchester United matches and revel in their victories, despite living 7.75763329 × 10^16 meters away from Old Trafford.

NASA experts are divided about the ramifications of this amazing discovery. Dr Abdalati pondered "Does this mean signals from Earth were received by this fledgeling species or could Manchester United's genetic material be carried through space on a meteorite, populating many planets in the universe like a dandelion seed floating on cosmic winds? It could also indicate that Manchester United is an inherent property of space-time itself, guaranteed to manifest itself wherever intelligent life is found."

The latest signals from Voyager have revealed that the locals are gearing up for the end of the season, preparing for the time when they must all become Los Angeles Lakers fans.

PLAY-STATION 4 ANNOUNCE

IT'IS ANOTHER ADITION OF SKIP-HOPZ-DOT-COM VIDYA GAME NEWS!!!!

>CLICK HEAR<

EVEN LONLIEST FOOL OF A HERMIT KNOW THE SONYMEN HAVE RELESED ALL ABOUT THERE NEW CONSOLE SOON TO BE EXPLODDING THE VIDEOCONSOLE MARKET:  THE PLAY STATION FOUR! 

MY COUSIN RANDY LIVE STEAMED THE PRESS CONFERENSE ON YOUTUBES AND I WILL TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT.....

PLAY STATION 3 WAS A HARD ACT 2 FOLLOW BUT PLAY STATION 4 ("PS-4") WILL HAVE ALL THE GAMMING FEATERS U EXPECT AND MOAR..  CIRCUT BOARD BLUEPRINT SMUGGLED OUT OF A FACTORY IN THE MOCCASIN OF A CHINAMAN HAS SHOWN THE POWER OF SONYS NEW CELL PROCESOR WITH 2000MHZ  AND CAN BE OVERCLACKED TO RIVAL THE DEMANDING MODERN GAMES SUCH AS CRYSIS 2 WARFARE AND UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2012. PS-4 WILL FEATERE UP TO 40000 POLYGONS PER SQUARE INCH,, ALLOWING FOR THE BUSHIEST AND REALISTIC EYEBROWS EVER SEEN IN A VIDEO GAME. WHEN IT COMES TO RAM, PS4 HAS 7 GIGS WHICH IS MORE THEN RANDYS ALIEN-WARE LAPTOP SO U CAN SEE PS-4 WILL BE A HEAVY HITTER FOR DECADES 2 COME!

SONYS PS4 WITH REVOLUTION "REMOTE" CONTROLLER FOR YOU'RE GAMMING PLEASURE!

A HUEG LINE UP OF GAMES WILL BE RELESED FOR PS-4 INCLUDING YOURE FAVORITES SUCH AS 'KILL ZONE 4 COLLECTOR EDITION' AND 'UNCHARTED 4: DRAKE GOES FISTING' BUTT FEAR NOT YOUNG READER,, PLAYSTATION 4 WILL BE OLD-COMPATIBLE WITH OUR FAVORITE PLAY STATION GAMES OF YORE SUCH AS CROC: LEGEND OF THE GOBBOS AND GEX 3D. NOW YOU'RE PATHETIC LIFE IS FINALLY COMPLETE

SUM NEW FEATERS ARE ANOUNCED FOR THE INTERFACE INCLUDING A "CROSS MEDIA BAR" WHICH WILL ALLOW U TAEK A SWIG OF SMOOTH EASY DRINKING JACK DANIELS WHILE U RELAX IN FRONT OF YOURE COMPLETE MEDIA CENTER SOLUTION...PHOTO SLIDESHOW AND REALPLAYER MEDIA PLAY BACK...ITS ALL IN THE BOX 

THE NEW "EZ-GRIP" WHITE CONTROLER MATCHES YOURE FAVORITE CARDIGAN

PLAYSTATION 4 IS ALL ABOUT THE SOCIAL GAMMING WHICH MEANS BASICALY THAT YOU'RE FRIENDS WILL APPEAR IN A GAMEPLAY AND TAKE OVER THE CONTROLER FROM U AT ANY MOMENT,, HOW EXITING

EVER WANT TO TELL YOU'RE FRIENDS THAT U ARE PLAYNG A PLAY-STATION GAME BUT YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW 2 GO ABOUT IT??? NOW U CAN SIMPLY PRESS THE SHARE BUTTON AND YOU'R CONSOLE WILL POST A BLOG 2 ITS OWN LIVEJOURNAL ACCOUNT, PROBABLY YOUR PS4 WILL HAVE EVEN MORE FRIENDS THEN YOU RANDY AHAHAHAHH

VALVE'S "STEAM BOX" IS A RIVAL CONSOLE THE SONYMEN WILL BE CRUSHING

HOWEVER THE SUCESS OF PLAYSTATION 4 IS FAR FROM GURANTEED...GABEN NEWELL AND VALVE ARE RELEASING A PLAY STATION OF THERE OWN CALLED THE STEAM BOX. THE DETALS ARE NOT NOWN YET BUT IT'S SURE TO HAVE ALL YOU'RE FAVORITE PC GAMES SUCH AS THE SIMS NUDE MOD, HALF-LIFE ORIGINS AND EURO BOAT SIMULATOR. 

MEAN WHILE NINTENDO HAVE RELEASE A NEW PIECE OF SHIT KNOWN AS THE "WII 2" WHICH HAS TWICE AS MANY CONTROLERS AND A BRAND NEW GAME WHERE MARIO WEARS A RACOON SUIT. STAY TUNED...2013 IS AN EXITING TIME FOR GAMMERS!!!