TRAGIDY AT THE BASKETBALL DOME

fans were treated to an exciting spectacle at the los angeles basketball dome last night in the match between the clippers and the fierce suns. halfway through the match star player KOBE BRYANT had to leave the court after vomiting all over the three point line...he had food poisoning (by the other teams chef???). with all the substitute players injured the clippers coach had nowhere to turn except to use the celebrities who had courtside seats. JUSTIN BIEBER scored a franchise record 43 points in the second half shooting 18/27 from the field and picking up 2 rebounds! later he was brutally raped by the other team in the locker room after the game.

OH SHIT SON I HAV SUM BREAKING NEWS

this shit is soooo not #mixxie right now

it has come to my attention that former NBA baller DETLEF SCHREMPF is ALLEDGEDLY a pedo...according to what some people say. I dunno if its true yet but its all explained on this news artical



oh how the mighty have fallen

THE GOAT; GAYEST RAPER OF ALL TIME

i nominate KRS ONE,,,



KRS sizes up another victim "HMMM....YOU WANNA BE FUCKED FROM BEHIND! [yes homo]"
krs is a legendary raper and OLDSCHOOL rap artist from the 1980s who terrorized new york. he is so gay that he was banned from marching in the gay pride parade because it would risk turning the whole city gay (and then who will be our firefighters and beat up criminals?)!! 

he has been well known in the gay community since a freestyle rap when he accidently said "oh btw i am gay". also known for his hit single "sound of The Police". some people have been critical of his stance that gayness is the 5th element of hip hop culture but he also has a lot of fans...many of them are gay.

here's to u, KRIS!

All About Big Slang: press release breakdown

He had started at school, from the prime age of thirteen, participating in lunch time diss battles in 2005.
did u hear that guys? 2005 was the year in which the lunch time diss battles began...just for the record. For years historians have debated the timeline but now we can put the controversy to bed. For youre information he was 13 years old at the time, mind you. I am telling you this so when our far off ancestors uncover the remains of BIG SLANG's press release they will make sure the date is recorded and nobody is allowed to forget the fated year of 2005.

This Assyrian-Australian artist calls his talent a blessing and a gift from the Lord, as he had started writing lyrics out of nowhere.
...Later he had found his talent of writing actual and heart touching lyrics.
so basically the lyrics he got from god were a piece of shit

After he had quickly rushed through all his tests and work without hardly reading the questions, he would take out his pad and a pen and start to write lyrics.
Early 2007 saw Big Slang being expelled from school
why am i not surprised...
...but he saw it as an opening for rapping.
yeah , nah

"Everybody knows Im emotional, and everybody knows there's two sides to me, the real soft side and the real hard side."

the white tupac, the black eminem!

With everybody vibin off these tracks, Slang knows this album is whats gonna be the hottest thing once completed.
not everybody is vibin off them, I'm just sayin. u might want to revise your prediction there.

With his eyes set and dreams of becoming number one, Slang is plotting and planning his schemes to get there. What the fuck, this guy is on sum lazers on the moon type shit, apparently the first step is to post a photo of himself half naked and sucking his stomach in.

dont take my word for it, read what others are saying on BIG SLANG's unearthed page
personally i think he should remain buried

TRAPPED IN DA MATRIX: iPhone 4

TRAPPED IN DA MATRIX is my new regular feature where i will keep u up to date with the latest TECH NEWS for youre computar

Today i am discussing the I-PHONE FOUR. its the latest and gratest handheld telephone for the digital age designed by a guy called STEVE JOBS from APPLE. if BILL GATES is the antichrist i guess this makes STEVE JOBS god. we live in an amazing age this is the most convinent devise invented since the gameboy printer.


as u can see from this scientific graph the eyephone is up against the androids. and the graph clearly proves the iphone is better! both phones have a tight screen and a store that lets u download a shit-ton of apps which are like computer programs but some are viruses. like if u want to prank call the pizza shop theres an app for that. if u want to take photos up womans skirt theres an app for that (iphone has a camera). u can upload these pics straight to twitter on the iphone! [email them to me as well].

its called iphone 4 because the other iphones had some pretty bad bugs, like the iphone 2 which phoned you at all hours of the day and night! but now that the iphone has been prefected I dont think we will be seeing any new tech devises from Apple for a long long while!