DEEP WEB 2: The Toynbee Manifesto

"Human nature presents human minds with a puzzle which they have not yet solved and may never succeed in solving, for all that we can tell. The dichotomy of a human being into 'soul' and 'body' is not a datum of experience. No one has ever been, or ever met, a living human soul without a body... Someone who accepts - as I myself do, taking it on trust - the present-day scientific account of the Universe may find it impossible to believe that a living creature, once dead, can come to life again; but, if he did entertain this belief, he would be thinking more 'scientifically' if he thought in the Christian terms of a psychosomatic resurrection than if he thought in the shamanistic terms of a disembodied spirit."

The above passage was discovered in the notes of Dr Toynbee, a brilliant physicist who worked on the cutting edge of science in the mid 20th century. He was hired by the American government to work with the newly arrived Reptillians in developing psychic technology for deep space travel of the human race. Whistleblowers who escaped the underground complex have said there was some kind of accident during testing which killed dozens of people although no bodies were found at the scene.

Allison Mack Dead?

breaking news on the twitter says famous acting person ALLISON MACK from Smallville has been killed, the story goes like this:

WASHINGTON (WUSA) -- Police say actress Allison Mack died in an overnight accident in the 3rd Street Tunnel.
Mack was the driver of a 2003 Audi TT Coupe that was headed southbound in the 3rd Street Tunnel near the South Capitol Street exit Sunday night around 11:40 when she lost control as she changed lanes, according to police. North of the Southwest Freeway/South Capital Street Exit, S.E., the Audi struck a Jersey barrier. The force of the hit ejected Mack, who was not wearing a seatbelt, from her vehicle.
Mack was subsequently transported to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner and pronounced dead at 3:28 a.m. Monday, say officials.
District firefighters and paramedics responded to the crash site where several injured people were evaluated. Police say at least one other vehicle was involved in the crash.
Allison will be remembered for her role as Chloe Sullivan on the television series Smallville, which she was involved with from 2001 to the present day. She was the winner of numerous awards including the coveted Teen Choice Award for Best Sidekick in a TV Series.
She was born in Germany but moved to California when she was 2. She began acting at 4 with print work and commercials, and began studying at The Young Actors Space in Los Angeles when she was 7.
An avid fan of musical theatre, Mack's talents extended beyond film and television. She received rave reviews as both choreographer and performer in "Rent" and "Chicago."
As the news of her death was reported on CNN tributes flowed onto the internet from her loyal fans around the world. Several celebrities tweeted messages of condolance including Snoop Dogg who worked with her on The Ant Bully in 2006 "All dogs go to heaven, she was no superman. rest in peace".
MTV will be holding a special memorial for Mack on Friday.

is Allison Mack dead? how the fuck should I know. im just reporting the latest news...who knows if it actually happened or not. perhaps the ghostly hand of the Superman curse is at work...

DEEP WEB: Reptillian conspiracy

in this new exciting series of posts i will bring you hidden truths unearthed from the Underweb. Dont worry about me...I am behind 7 proxies.



Today i am introducing the REPTILIANS. they are a species of lizardmen who landed on planet Earth. we know of the reptilians from brave scholars such as Riley Martin, Zecharia Sitchin, Dale Russell, Paul Shockley and John Rhodes.

Top secret reports uncovered by project blue book indicate the reptilians appeared in 1967. They are a race of intelligent, highly developed reptile-like humanoids. Some authors also refer to them as dinosauroids, lizardfolk or lizardmen. Other names include Draconians, Scalie Heavies and Sauroids. Leading reptilian scholars have discovered that they travelled here from the planet Xylomyte of the Infinite Dimensions to prevent nuclear catastrophe during the cold war. JFK took a shining to the lizardfolk and they have been at the center of American power ever since, transforming the US into a superpower.

The home base of REPTILIAN power is the Deep Springs underground base in California. Several ex-government officials have explained that the Reptilians are using humans to develop a new technology there, with a plan to complete their main project in 2012. Brave reporters risked their lives to photograph several large telescopes that they have built. Purpose unknown.

IN MY NEXT ARTICLE: How reptilians are controlling China and how this relates to the disappearance of Dr Toynbee's plan to ruserrect the dead on planet Jupiter

This Shit is Mixxie

In December last year this liquor pouring rap video took the internet by storm.

In the '11 Mixxie Boyz have returned with some new tracks like ROLL UP, COOK COOK STIR STIR and COKE DOPE CRACK SWAG. In case anyone was still having trouble getting the dance moves down they have released another mixxie video of them repeatedly performing the "official cooking dance" and "the handbrake".



Buy 'This Shit is Mixxie' on iTunes

more aussie RAP celeb spotting

Spotted rap mastermind MASS MC again. This time fleeing from Nalfeshnee, the notorious soul eating harbinger of doom. He was running through the State Library of New South Wales trying to photocopy a large leather bound volume, it looked like the demon wanted it back!





Infamous battle rapper RoNiKaL was observed at a construction site in Brisbane yesterday, deftly dodging besa blocks being thrown by an unseen assailant. Has he started a beef he couldn't finish?






Indelible rap man 360 was spotted in a forest yesterday with a stack of softcore porn magazines. He was burying issies of The Picture under a thin layer of pine needles. So thats how they got there!






Saw the amazing DJ SHEEP hanging out with CHARLIE SHEEN at a local Irish pub. They were banging 7 gram rocks with Lindsay Lohan while SHEEP helped Charlie with his crab scratch technique and taught him about how to properly care for and store vinyl. Hope he was paying attention!

Altiyan Childs Drug Running Pedo?

New allegations have come to light that accuse popular bodyboarder "Altiyan Childs" of being a drug running pedo.

The news was broken by heroic whistleblower D00MWEED on youtube. Altiyan Childs could not be reached for comment by SkipHopz, however he did not deny the rumors. Perhaps he wants to speak with his lawyer first. If the allegations are true it could have serious effects on Altiyan's career and even jeopardize his inclusion in the bodyboarding hall of fame. His fans will be sure to turn on him if he is brought before the iron law. More on this story as it develops.

UPDATE: sometimes life imitates art and truth is stranger than fiction!! it turns out the rumors about Altiyan Childs may be actually TRUE!! or close enough. read what Coptic Soulja says about his part in this: http://iforgetsorry.com/blog/?p=484 

 

Another Hot Bangs Joint

Melburn rap personality YOUR BOY BANGS has returned with yet another hot video. The star who was made famous by hits like Meet Me On Facebook and Take U To Da Movies released his second album REFLECTIONS last week. It contains some old favourites as well as new songs like the excellent HI HATERS.



Didn't Bangs already do some videos dedicated to the haters? Whatever. It's a cool video. I like the way he flashes his money at the camera (SO hip hop) and Ezu legs it from a taxi just before his guest verse. I think he is a bad influence on our boy Bangs but I hope they do more tracks together.

One thing is for sure: nobody will be hating on our boy Bangs again anytime soon!
 
Check it out on iTunes and support dope new Aus hip hop!

The stories may not be true but the names have not been changed to protect the innocent

This man is crazy! I spotted After Hours rapper HEADLOCK terrorizing Adelaide's Western suburbs last night as he roamed the streets with a pack of hungry wolves devouring everything in their path. They've been doing this for weeks but the cops are too scared to do anything about it and my local council don't believe me, isn't this violating some kind of by-law???

 
Popular hip hop dude DRAPHT was seen yesterday embarking on an epic quest with wicked witch T-Bag and her assistant T-Shirt. He told me they intended to travel to Letterland and recover the lost pearls of wisdom from the evil Sally Simpkins. Good luck guys!


Saw rapper/baller J-WESS chillin' with his crew at a Sydney strip club. He was the most popular act of the night, stuffing multiple $100 bills into his g-string. Has he had work done?


Rap diva KARA KRAIG was seen at JFK International Airport hanging around the departures lounge. I saw her flashing around a poorly faked pilot's license written on the back of a napkin. She was asking everyone if there were any job openings on flights to Australia for pilots or co-pilots or if she could borrow a plane for a few days. Hang in there!

DRAPHT: THE GREATEST DISCOVERY IN 2000 YEARS

Aussie rapping person THE DRAPHT of the Sillybolikz has finally released his album "THE LIFE OF RILEY". Drapht is best known for ruining Culture of Kings 3 and his annoying voice which has roughly the same frequency as a kitten scraped against a chalkboard. But is the album hot?

After an intro the album opens with "SING IT (The Life of Riley)". You know the song sucks because it has parenthesis in the title. But its actually good!! Drapht name drops some of his favourite musicians on this song...its soooo cool! He likes the same stuff I like!!!
 
 

***SPOILER***R.I.P JIMMY RICARD

You may be surprised to hear that Drapht has killed off his most popular character from the last album! I call this new genre SOAP OPERA RAP.***SPOILER***

The features on this album are hot. There are guest spots from NFA (remember him?) as well as ozhiphop royalty Funkoars, Mantra and Urthboy.

Drapht has stepped up his lyrics on most of the tracks, only taking a break on Murder Murder, Bali Party and Air Guitar to rap like a total mongloid.

Sadly the downsyde of this album is in the beats which I think were produced by TRIALS (a rapper not a beatman). Basically every song has the same stupid guitar riff in the background. Triple J and Nova love it. Tupac and Biggie are probly rolling in their graves. I heard there is a secret track on this CD but im not allowed to talk about it.



Heres what others are saying...

"Don't think i'll be dropping any duckets on it eh! Wasn't that impressed" -whileuweresleeping

"Draphto s killin it in my opinion besides the funkoars i dont think anyone can keep up wit him atm" -Defyre

"Drapht seems to have left some of the lyricism we were used to on previous releases behind but he's become a lot better at crafting a track/song structure" -Afteroots 

Check out DRAPHT on the world wide web and support oz hip hop!

Internet Rappers: HOT or NOT?

in this new regular feature i report on which internet rappers are the new hotness, or not as the case may be.



Adelaide rapper ESKATOLOGY is HOT. his new album MARTYR MUSIC has several hot tracks on it.

"catch me on facebook, fuck twitter"

'Dada' (Feat. Dan The Underdog) is a real hot track with a real nice vibe. There are plenty of horns and rolling basslines to be heard.

Unfortunately some of the other songs like 'Hope' sound way too serious and emo. they didnt tickle my fancy. but since the album is free you may as well give it a listen or download! HOLLA.

More Aussie hip hop celebs spotted

Saw Officer CLINT DOGG at my local police station. He dragged a homeless looking guy into one of the questioning rooms, yelling something about him being a double agent. It sounded like he was giving him a pretty rough time in there!

Acoustic crooner PHATCHANCE ran out in front of my car while I was stopped at traffic lights in Sydney yesterday. He was wearing a striped shirt and mime facepaint. He pretended there was a wall in front of him then he climbed an imaginary rope for a while and ran away before I could give him a tip. I got out of my car and chased after him but he was gone in the blink of an eye.

Rap guy COPTIC SOLJA was seen at a local Borders store that was having a closing down sale. He kept asking if the prices had come down yet. Then I saw him trying to haggle down the price of an Asterix book. In the end he paid with a gift voucher. Hope he got a good deal!

Spotted the infamous Funkoar TRIALS at Sportsgirl in Arndale shopping centre. He was hanging around the fitting rooms asking girls if they needed any help. What a gentleman!

OZ HIP HOP CELEBS SPOTTED!

Hip Hop Hoochie KARA CRAIG was spotted at a New York subway station begging for change, said something about her passport and plane tickets being stolen. Lookng good in a tiger striped pink fur ensemble repping her A-Town fitted, u go girl!






Spotted legend of the rap game BIG PHRASE at a Super Cheap Auto carpark crawling around on all fours trying to scoop up oil stains on the ground. His record label are really putting him to work!






Saw the infamous CLINT DOGG DJing at a McDonalds birthday party. The staff said he wasn't allowed to play music here and he would have to leave. Then the manager came and said he was banned from the store for 2 weeks. Last I saw CLINT was hanging around the car park asking people to go get his records back for him.




Spotted special rapper MC ANZAK at a firing range wearing an Aussie flag cape and face paint. He was operating a BBQ indoors but the smoke didn't seem to affect his aim as he shot the Saddam Hussein shaped target right through the balls with a Heckler and Koch Mk23.

Kanye Spotted, with his dick out

Photos show fashionista/rapper Kanye West was spotted wandering the streets of Paris in his pyjamas in the early hours of 31 March 2011.

Earlier in the night Kanye was gatecrashing a fashion show for designer Alexander McQueen being held as part of Paris Fashion Week. He was photographed making a scene when he was denied entry for being black. Kanye said that he didn't want to see the new clothes anyway and he stormed off.

The troubled artist was later seen walking the streets of the red light district dressed in pyjamas with no shoes on. Kanye was looking good in a yellow and purple striped ensemble with matching top and bottom. The pyjama pants had a flap on the back with 2 buttons.

Pop starlet Rihanna soon appeared on the scene and tried to convince Kanye to return to his hotel room but instead Kanye just whipped his dick out of his fly, beat her in the face with it and kept walking. His current whereabouts are unknown.

Conspiracy theories abound regarding the incident, with some people suggesting that Kanye's reptillian blood is calling him back to his home pyjama planet of Niburu. Sources close to Kanye suggest he was planning a trip to the outer solar system before the bright lights of Paris Fashion Week caught his eye. More on this story as it develops...