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5.5.20
2.5.20
addendum
Are you still finding it hard to believe that "Kutchiataville" really exists and that it's not just a figment of your imagination???
Or that Donald Trump just became the President Elect???
Ever hear of a Siding??? The track switches and both trains continue merrily on their way.
I think today is going to be the day.
Prime Ribs in Swamp Water is the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth.
Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime Pie is all I need. How about you, in for some great prime ribs and key lime pie???
Smell you later, space cowboy...
Or that Donald Trump just became the President Elect???
Ever hear of a Siding??? The track switches and both trains continue merrily on their way.
I think today is going to be the day.
Prime Ribs in Swamp Water is the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth.
Captain Kutchie Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime Pie is all I need. How about you, in for some great prime ribs and key lime pie???
Smell you later, space cowboy...
13.12.17
public servise anouncement from the russian spammors
Hello @everyone Do Repent of Your sin, I Would like to give you Good News Please read WWW.JW.org !!! and If you found it, Check out more important things Step by Step. Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need Don't give up to knowing Jehovah God and Jesus https://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/free-bible-study/ https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/know-about-electronic-games/ https://www.jw.org/en/search/?l=en&q=holiday&fpd%5B%5D=any&sortBy=rel Invitation from Ave Sever https://discord.gg/N2nrRd5
22.9.16
HOT PRODUCTS FROM AMAZON THIS HOLIDAY SEESONE 2016
1. KINDLE that can only be read until the battery runs out of power, it cant be recharged [NEW!]
2. Book comprised of letters instead of words
3. Kindle embossed with gold-leaf and real leather
4. Computer virus that destroys book as soon as u start to read it. the ending is destroyed first, then it works backwards.
5. Illegal book
5. Kindle fire (literally a fire on your kindle)
2. Book comprised of letters instead of words
3. Kindle embossed with gold-leaf and real leather
4. Computer virus that destroys book as soon as u start to read it. the ending is destroyed first, then it works backwards.
5. Kindle fire (literally a fire on your kindle)
20.5.15
CHEAP YEEZY 750 BOOST, IN STOCK NOW
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31.3.15
Tomorrow Never Lives, Sir Roger Moore Dead at 87
REUTERS - LONDON
Hollywood legend Sir Roger Moore has passed away at age 87. His body was discovered by relatives who became concerned about text messages Moore was sending late last night. They found him unresponsive and he was declared dead of an apparent overdose when an ambulance arrived 15 minutes later.
Moore had survived many battles with drugs and alcoholism in the past but it appears that an addiction to prescription drugs may have been the cause of death. A spokesperson for the Moore estate has declined to comment further on this matter, asking simply that the family be left in peace during this difficult time.
Roger Moore was best known for his role as super-spy James Bond and other minor roles such as a flamboyant homosexual in Boat Trip (2007). According to Wikipedia sources, he was known by his nickname "The Big Knit" and is also known for doing charity work.
Hollywood legend Sir Roger Moore has passed away at age 87. His body was discovered by relatives who became concerned about text messages Moore was sending late last night. They found him unresponsive and he was declared dead of an apparent overdose when an ambulance arrived 15 minutes later.
Moore had survived many battles with drugs and alcoholism in the past but it appears that an addiction to prescription drugs may have been the cause of death. A spokesperson for the Moore estate has declined to comment further on this matter, asking simply that the family be left in peace during this difficult time.
Roger Moore was best known for his role as super-spy James Bond and other minor roles such as a flamboyant homosexual in Boat Trip (2007). According to Wikipedia sources, he was known by his nickname "The Big Knit" and is also known for doing charity work.
Roger Moore, 1827-2015
10.7.14
Skiphopz Acquired by CNN
Reuters - 11:31 AM
Washington DC
MEDIA giant CNN will be purchasing popular rap and celebrity news website Skiphopz Dot Com, according to a press conference held at the CNN Broadcast Centre earlier this morning.
Skiphopz CEO Forum Noob was also present at the press conference. He shook hands with Kent and handed over the keys to the blog as he addressed the audience of CNN reporters: “This is a new era in world-wide-web news reporting. We are pleased to be so warmly welcomed into the CNN family.”
There are plans for a complete redesign of the Skiphopz home page, Noob announced, including a JavaScript news ticker and the possibility of a spinoff ‘Skiphopz Spanish’ page.
The deal also includes Skiphopz sister site The Global Daily, a troubled news website which has been under constant attack from the Russian Spammors and Chinese Hackors for more than 5 years.
The buyout is seen by industry insiders as an aggressive grab for internet credibility by the aging media network. CNN’s ratings have been dipping lower and lower each year and they trail other major news outlets in online engagement.
27.5.14
Bill Cosby Dead Following Freak "Accident"
According to official sources, actor and comedian Bill Cosby has passed away following a freak accident on the set of Dancing with the Stars.
Cosby's inclusion in the show was controversial. He was brought in as a last-minute replacement for Gary Busey who was unable to commit to the filming schedule. A fan poll on the official Dancing website picked Cosby as the most wanted celebrity.
Earlier in the week Cosby posted a candid video to Youtube where he expressed doubts about his dancing skills, making chilling comments like "Kids these days with their breakdance and their mambo number 5. Maybe its time for this old man to shuffle off the stage."
Labels:
bill cosby,
dead,
post-based,
r.i.p,
really happened,
reptillians,
too inaccurate for wikipedia,
update,
web 2.0
27.1.14
Is THE GAME a clone of 50 CENT and DR DRE? I'm just asking questions!
New evidence has come to light in the curious case of popular rap singer THE GAME and his mysterious origins, calling into question the "official story" they want us to believe.
"The Game sounds eeriely like a clone of Dr. Dre as he spits his shit"
-RapReviews.com

"The Game sounds eeriely like a clone of Dr. Dre as he spits his shit"
-RapReviews.com

When The Game was shot on October 1st 2001 he was rushed to hospital and went into a coma for three days. On the fourth day, hospital staff entered his room and found him missing! A security tape later surfaced showing 50 Cent and Dr Dre entering the building at approximately 2:15 AM on the morning of October 5th. The hospital refused to investigate the matter further. In 2005 MTV interviewed Dr Dre but he refused to answer any questions about the incident.
The truth is that Dre and 50 knew The Game from a young age and followed his progress closely. They groomed him to be the perfect rapping machine, giving him classic rap albums to listen to and explaining the finer points of hip hop culture, like how to roll a blunt and all about those spinning rims.
After escaping the hospital, The Game was rushed to Dr Dre's home studio where a team of interns prepped him for surgery. Dr Dre leaned over his body and whispered into his ear "You are ready, my son." 50 Cent then injected him with a DNA infusion (combined with frozen stem cells taken from the corpse of Eazy-E, after Dr Dre figured out how to cure and remove the AIDS) and the transformation was complete.
From this point on The Game was a totally different person. He was already an accomplished rapper but the DNA of 50 and Dre was making him into a rap superstar the likes of which the world had never seen. His body was the same but the mind had transformed beyond recognition.
After the release of The Documentary everything seemed to be going well. The Game was offered a seat a Dr Dre's table and ate dinner with his family every night. He coddled the young man the same way he coddled Eminem, making beats for him and even buying him a Lambo for his birthday. The Game responded in kind, surprising Dr Dre by getting a tattoo of his album The Chronic.


Their close relationship was making 50 Cent jealous, he resented the role Dre was playing as a father. 50 was not satisfied with The Game's debut album. He wanted to take over the entire rap game. He wanted to make The Game into a mercenary, a natural born killer, and just diss everyone.
This new direction did not sit well with The Game. He lashed out at 50, and one of the most epic feuds in the history of rap was born. Dr Dre was disappointed with this turn of events but 50 Cent ended up getting exactly what he wanted by finally unleashing The Game's hidden potential, to the benefit of rap fans worldwide.
Sources used for this post:
Hip Hop Horror Theories
IMDB Biography - The Game
RapReviews - Doctor's Advocate
Youtube - 'clones from ancient egypt..obama..michael jackson..50 cent..illuminati past life conspiracy'
This new direction did not sit well with The Game. He lashed out at 50, and one of the most epic feuds in the history of rap was born. Dr Dre was disappointed with this turn of events but 50 Cent ended up getting exactly what he wanted by finally unleashing The Game's hidden potential, to the benefit of rap fans worldwide.
Sources used for this post:
Hip Hop Horror Theories
IMDB Biography - The Game
RapReviews - Doctor's Advocate
Youtube - 'clones from ancient egypt..obama..michael jackson..50 cent..illuminati past life conspiracy'
Labels:
beef,
conspiracy,
drama,
hip hop,
history lesson,
illuminati,
rap,
really happened,
swag,
threat
5.11.13
It Wasn't Me (featuring sport bikes)
The music video for this song starts out with Rikrok running to Shaggy's mansion in the city of Highguard to explain to him what has just happened. Rikrok (a Shadow Assassin from the Brass Coast) tells him that he cheated on his girlfriend and got caught. Shaggy tells him to tell her that "It wasn't me."
We then cut to a flashback to earlier that day. Rikrok has been caught sleeping with another woman, and his girlfriend is outside the apartment in her convertible when two women pull up next to her on their motorcycles (sport bikes).
The 3 women go into the building. Rikrok sneaks out the window, takes the motorcycle (sport bike) of one of his girlfriend's accomplices and leaves. The women come out and his girlfriend and gets in the convertible, the other women get on their motorcycles (sport bikes) and chase after him.
Shaggy, from his house, and using his futuristic technology tracks down where Rikrok is going and prepares an escape for him. Rikrok then gets on a bridge over the highway when the accomplice rode on the bridge in front of him. He then hits the brakes to stop while she stops her motorcycle (sport bike).
Rikrok then hears a noise behind him & its the other accomplices and the girlfriend driving the convertible on the other side of the bridge with the highway down below, an 18-wheeler drives by and Shaggy leaves him a text message telling him to look behind and he notices the truck and jumps off the side of overhead and lands on the truck.
He is then dropped off at Shaggy's mansion, showing the same scene from the start of the video.
We then cut to a flashback to earlier that day. Rikrok has been caught sleeping with another woman, and his girlfriend is outside the apartment in her convertible when two women pull up next to her on their motorcycles (sport bikes).
The 3 women go into the building. Rikrok sneaks out the window, takes the motorcycle (sport bike) of one of his girlfriend's accomplices and leaves. The women come out and his girlfriend and gets in the convertible, the other women get on their motorcycles (sport bikes) and chase after him.
Shaggy, from his house, and using his futuristic technology tracks down where Rikrok is going and prepares an escape for him. Rikrok then gets on a bridge over the highway when the accomplice rode on the bridge in front of him. He then hits the brakes to stop while she stops her motorcycle (sport bike).
Rikrok then hears a noise behind him & its the other accomplices and the girlfriend driving the convertible on the other side of the bridge with the highway down below, an 18-wheeler drives by and Shaggy leaves him a text message telling him to look behind and he notices the truck and jumps off the side of overhead and lands on the truck.
He is then dropped off at Shaggy's mansion, showing the same scene from the start of the video.
Labels:
cinema,
Fabergé eggs,
literature,
tiger blood,
video,
web 2.0
30.10.13
Identity of Zodiac Killer Finally Revealed
The infamous Zodiac Killer was a serial killer responsible for the murder of dozens of people throughout the 1970s. He terrorized the state of California, taunting the police by sending cryptic messages to the media and demanding they be published. The Zodiac's identity has remained unknown for over 40 years. Skip Hopz Dot Com can now reveal exclusive information from recently declassified police files that will finally put this tragic case to rest.
Investigators at the San Francisco Police Department racistly assumed The Zodiac was a white man, based on the neatness of his handwriting. But take this eyewitness sketch and invert the colors, it clearly shows a man strikingly similar to Bill Cosby. The trademark Cosby eyeglasses and slicked back mop of sweaty black hair are clearly visible.
Bill Cosby famously wore a Zodiac brand wristwatch. When an interviewer asked about the mysterious timepiece he smiled sinisterly and replied "I am a man of many secrets and hidden aliases, you can set your watch by it."
Cosby's agent has made it clear that questions about Cosby's whereabouts on specific dates during the 1960s-70s are off-limits for interviews. When an NBC reporter pressed Cosby on the issue and brought up the fact that witnesses report seeing him in the vicinity of Lake Berryessa in September 1969, the site and date of a horrific Zodiac murder, his handlers told her the interview was over and hustled Cosby away.
All the known Zodiac killings took place during full moons. The moon is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign Cancer, which happens to be Bill Cosby's star sign. He often spoke of consulting his horoscope and "Getting [my] work done" when the moon was full. He would often leave the house on secretive trips, refusing to discuss the matter with his wife.
According to recently declassified documents, Cosby would allegedly fool women into stopping their cars in rural areas by claiming they had problems with their tires, then loosen their lug nuts and eventually take them captive.
It is known that Cosby was a close friend of the lead SFPD detective working the case. Cosby invited him to tapings of The Cosby Show and would constantly press him for information about the killer and suspects.
A corkboard with newspaper clippings about the Zodiac Killer is clearly visible in Bill Cosby's study, as seen on an early episode of MTV Cribs. It isn't a small corkboard either, it's massive. He was obsessed with the case.
Zodiac left size 10.5 size footprints at the crime scene. According to the Bill Cosby wiki, Cosby wears the same size.
Bill Cosby's wife has revealed that knives, a rope, guns and bullets often went missing from the house, all weapons used in the murders.
Cosby has repeatedly refused to give hair and semen samples that could potentially clear his name. Police have used DNA evidence to rule out several previous suspects. What does Cosby have to hide?
Investigators at the San Francisco Police Department racistly assumed The Zodiac was a white man, based on the neatness of his handwriting. But take this eyewitness sketch and invert the colors, it clearly shows a man strikingly similar to Bill Cosby. The trademark Cosby eyeglasses and slicked back mop of sweaty black hair are clearly visible.
Bill Cosby famously wore a Zodiac brand wristwatch. When an interviewer asked about the mysterious timepiece he smiled sinisterly and replied "I am a man of many secrets and hidden aliases, you can set your watch by it."
Cosby's agent has made it clear that questions about Cosby's whereabouts on specific dates during the 1960s-70s are off-limits for interviews. When an NBC reporter pressed Cosby on the issue and brought up the fact that witnesses report seeing him in the vicinity of Lake Berryessa in September 1969, the site and date of a horrific Zodiac murder, his handlers told her the interview was over and hustled Cosby away.
All the known Zodiac killings took place during full moons. The moon is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign Cancer, which happens to be Bill Cosby's star sign. He often spoke of consulting his horoscope and "Getting [my] work done" when the moon was full. He would often leave the house on secretive trips, refusing to discuss the matter with his wife.
According to recently declassified documents, Cosby would allegedly fool women into stopping their cars in rural areas by claiming they had problems with their tires, then loosen their lug nuts and eventually take them captive.
It is known that Cosby was a close friend of the lead SFPD detective working the case. Cosby invited him to tapings of The Cosby Show and would constantly press him for information about the killer and suspects.
A corkboard with newspaper clippings about the Zodiac Killer is clearly visible in Bill Cosby's study, as seen on an early episode of MTV Cribs. It isn't a small corkboard either, it's massive. He was obsessed with the case.
Zodiac left size 10.5 size footprints at the crime scene. According to the Bill Cosby wiki, Cosby wears the same size.
Bill Cosby's wife has revealed that knives, a rope, guns and bullets often went missing from the house, all weapons used in the murders.
Cosby has repeatedly refused to give hair and semen samples that could potentially clear his name. Police have used DNA evidence to rule out several previous suspects. What does Cosby have to hide?
Friends report that Cosby had an active interest in ciphers and codes, often spending days completing giant crossword puzzles.
Finally, the Zodiac Killer's famous unbroken cipher has now been decoded by a user on Reddit, the proposed solution was reached by reversing the letters decoding them using an asymmetric key algorithms, it reads
I AM BILL H COSBY
Labels:
bill cosby,
conspiracy,
r.i.p,
too inaccurate for wikipedia
27.10.13
PETITION TO GET KERSER ON THE EMINEM TOUR INSTEAD OF 360
Kerser is a rapper that has more credit and respect in Australia than 360 does. Kerser has so many similarities to Eminem. He made himself from rags to riches. He started by battling and hustling mixtapes a lot like Eminem. He has had no support from media or radio. NIL! And still his albums and DVD debut at number1. His youtube channel has over 10 million views.
Kerser's subject matter and style fits in more with Eminem and Kendrick Lamar than 360 ever will. 360 is only on the bill because of management and radio play!
SIGN THE PETITION NOW
SIGN THE PETITION NOW
17.10.13
Kerser's new album and the secret Kerser knowledge they don't want you to know
With Kerser's new album "SICKEST CUNT OUT THERE" soon to hit Kazaa and Limewire it is the perfect time to reveal some knowledge best left untouched...
Scientists excavating Saddam's tomb in Baghdad have found ancient scrolls written in Greek and Latin which tell the story of Kerser. They gave the scrolls the name K-Bible. These scrolls are giving many answers to the world's most unanswered secrets and mysteries.
We now know that Kerser created the world and nature, as the 2/3 god he is. And then was born as a man in 1987. Kerser appears to be coming out as a man to help our world when he thinks it is necessary. The scrolls mention few famous names from our world's history who are considered to be Kerser too (Caeser and Napoleon are just 2 of'em).
According to the K-Bible, the Inkas are considered to be the first civilization to acknowledge Kerser's mightiness, and to believe in him as the world's ruler. As this world's commissioner, Kerser communicates with 2,194,002 other worlds. Since the smart Inkas, our world lives in sin, so Skip Hopz Dot Com, in association with Da Russian Spammorz, The Chinese Hackors and Da Skript Kiddiez, has taken the responsibility of spreading the K-Bible and making the world a better place.
K-Bible also tells the story of how Kerser died (yes it's true Kerser has died many times). 3 days later his body was found missing from the shallow grave where he passed out, he was alive and well.
Kerser, the best rapper ever, earned 72 PHDs when he was only 5. He changed the world by giving it computers (he invented the transistor and the microprocessor), when he graduated from high school, he added 163 more PHDs. In sports, Kerser was just awesome. He won national titles in basketball, football, baseball, track & field, soccer and chess. After each and every university begged him to join in order to teach the professors, Kerser chose to pursue the path of the Lad. After going back in time to 1979 and showing KRS-One how to rap, he began working on his debut album and the rest is history.
Labels:
aussie,
based,
conspiracy,
freemason,
Kerser,
rap,
rebecca black
14.9.13
Rap News Roundup - September 2013
Disgraced diva Rihanna was looking no worse for wear following her kidnapping at the hands of Somali Pirates. She was seen at the beach hollering something about a tsunami warning system, whatever that means. I think she was looking for a marine biologist but nobody could understand her accent. The water at this beach has receded really far!
Rap superstar Eminem walked into the Detroit DMV and announced he would pay for everyone's motor vehicle insurance. He was in a great mood until I began to pester him with questions. Pestered him for a good 5 minutes before his handlers escorted me away. Still no word on Detox, btw.
Reports indicate that vegan rapper Phatchance was seen at a local park surrounded by kittens. He had a variety of nuts and legumes roasting on the communal BBQ. He asked if I wanted a 'steak' as I slowly backed away and broke into a mad dash.
I spotted Ludacris at my 5-year-old cousin's birthday party on the weekend. Luda was folding party balloons into obscene shapes and waving them around. Nobody invited him but he was definitely the life of the party!
Your Boy Bangs has allegedly locked himself in a sporting goods store and is staging mock battles from WW2 using cricket equipment. Perhaps filming a viral video for his new mixtape?
Rap superstar Eminem walked into the Detroit DMV and announced he would pay for everyone's motor vehicle insurance. He was in a great mood until I began to pester him with questions. Pestered him for a good 5 minutes before his handlers escorted me away. Still no word on Detox, btw.
Reports indicate that vegan rapper Phatchance was seen at a local park surrounded by kittens. He had a variety of nuts and legumes roasting on the communal BBQ. He asked if I wanted a 'steak' as I slowly backed away and broke into a mad dash.
I spotted Ludacris at my 5-year-old cousin's birthday party on the weekend. Luda was folding party balloons into obscene shapes and waving them around. Nobody invited him but he was definitely the life of the party!
Your Boy Bangs has allegedly locked himself in a sporting goods store and is staging mock battles from WW2 using cricket equipment. Perhaps filming a viral video for his new mixtape?
Labels:
bangs,
freemason,
news,
phatchance,
rap,
reptillians,
tiger blood
3.9.13
Jackie Chan Not Dead
It has come to the attention of SKIP HOPZ DOT COM that famous movieman Jackie "Channers" Chan is alive and well. The news has come as a shock to millions of fans who thought he was dead following a post on popular truth website Yahoo Answers:
At Skiphopz we believe that truth and integrity is the cornerstone of journalism and we stand by all our previous stories, as well as the stories on our sister site TheGlobalDaily.net (which is still under maintenance following the attacks by Chinese Hackors and The Script Kiddies)
Yes he is dead, he died on set of his asian meets black comedy Mush Dower 4. Piss Blucker was going around the set swinging his leg around trying to act like he knew something about martial arts. Then, all of a sudden, the asswipe kicks a shelf that is holding loaded glock 17s, they all fell to the ground and as they hit the ground the guns went off.
They all fired and every single bullet hit Jackie in the face except for one, which hit him in the ear. Piss Blucker then decided to go to his trailer and snorted large amounts of baking soda. By the time the police got him out of his trailer he turned white due to all the stuff he snorted, then, he died after that. Piss Blucker never said he was sorry, for Jackies death.
At Skiphopz we believe that truth and integrity is the cornerstone of journalism and we stand by all our previous stories, as well as the stories on our sister site TheGlobalDaily.net (which is still under maintenance following the attacks by Chinese Hackors and The Script Kiddies)
Labels:
celeb,
dead,
jackie chan,
news,
post-based,
r.i.p,
really happened,
reptillians,
swag,
touhou
27.6.13
"Saint West", Kanye Canonized by Catholic Church
"Saint West", Kanye Canonized by Catholic Church
ReutersVatican City
June 26, 2013
In a move that has shocked religious fanatics around the globe, Pope Francis has named Kanye West as an official Saint of the Catholic Church.
The announcement was especially surprising because the process of canonization usually takes decades. Francis told reporters that he "Stepped up and made an executive decision" by making Kanye a Saint, effective immediately. He continued, "Kanye is the greatest producer to ever live, he has changed the rap game several times since bringing the soul sound back with his dope album 'The College Dropout'. And his rhymes are off the hook as well."
'Da Hip Hop Pope' shares a bong with worshippers in downtown Chicago
Kanye has spoken about his faith many times and referenced it in his songs such as 'Jesus Walks' and 'I am a God', the latter is from his latest album 'Yeezus
When asked for comment Kanye said he would consider moving to Heaven to live with the other saints, but it would not be the end of his career. He tweeted a message to his fans indicating he deserved to be even higher in the Church, he could still become Pope, Archangel, Jesus Christ or even God.
A new portrait of Saint West has been commissioned to hang in the Vatican lobby
Fellow rap megastar Drake was less than impressed with the news. He took out his phone and waved it around, trying to show reporters a photo of an Indian totem-pole with his face crudley carved into the side "Look I'mma God too!"
Labels:
freemason,
goat,
illuminati,
kanye,
lol,
rap,
really happened,
too inaccurate for wikipedia
11.6.13
Secret NBA plan reveals they are collecting all our rebounds
Superstar Lebron James has been implicated in the leaked NBA plan to collect all the rebounds, according to an anonymous whistleblower who was found dead in his Hong Kong hotel room this morning. Local detective Jackie Chan has ruled the case a suicide and was quoted saying "I don't want no trouble."
The leaked documents uploaded to Wikileaks show that NBA commissioner David Stern masterminded the plan to pad Lebron James' career stats (which also count toward Stern's stats as commissioner, according to a controversial new rule change).
Lebron allegedly disguised himself as Sam Bowie before travelling to school playgrounds and gymnasiums around the country where he would run onto the court and aggressively box out players on both teams. After he grabbed the ball he would take out his iPhone, record the rebound on his NBA.com stat-tracker app and run away to find the next victim.
Amateur basketball players worldwide are now scared to attempt a field goal, even when practicing by themselves, for fear of Lebron stealing the rebound and running away with their ball. Some NBA players have complained about Lebron in private but they will not speak on the record because commissioner Stern rules the league with an iron fist and has punished dissidents before.
At time of writing Lebron has managed to pad his stats to 3260 rebounds per game which puts him slightly behind Tim Duncan.
Labels:
basketball,
conspiracy,
drama,
goat,
gossip,
haters
5.6.13
Rapper Kerser to be Killed by RSPCA
Our worst fears have finally come true, Aussie rap superstar KERSER now faces the death penalty after he was reportedly seized and detained by the RSPCA.
Kerser allegedly escaped from his Sydney home and ventured into the backyard of a neighbour who reported him to the authorities. Kerser is scheduled to be euthanised June 3rd, 2013 at 5 PM based solely on his looks. At the last moment, Kerser received a temporary stay of execution while the case is reviewed.
Relatives claim Kerser "has always been a loving, gentle and playful boy. He has never harmed anyone and is a valuable member of Jade's family."
Kerser has recently released his second studio album and had plans to tour nationally but this has been put on hold while his case is decided.
File photo of Kerser smoking a funny smelling cigarette
Kerser allegedly escaped from his Sydney home and ventured into the backyard of a neighbour who reported him to the authorities. Kerser is scheduled to be euthanised June 3rd, 2013 at 5 PM based solely on his looks. At the last moment, Kerser received a temporary stay of execution while the case is reviewed.
Relatives claim Kerser "has always been a loving, gentle and playful boy. He has never harmed anyone and is a valuable member of Jade's family."
Kerser has recently released his second studio album and had plans to tour nationally but this has been put on hold while his case is decided.
Labels:
beef,
conspiracy,
disgusting,
Kerser,
rap,
rapist,
really happened,
scary,
threat,
tiger blood,
too inaccurate for wikipedia,
update
2.6.13
RiFF RAFF: the story so far
EXCLUSIVE: Part 1 of the weird biography that was deemed "too inaccurate" for Wikipedia!
Jody "riFF raFF" Christian was born 2 weeks premature in the vicinity of "Bunk Alley", Minnesota in 1975. He was raised by Gypsies and spent much of his time alone nurturing his tulip gardens and focusing on his rapping and the ability to telekinetically manipulate and control materials with his mind. He loved how the sensation of fiber, such as soft weaves and flowers, felt to his touch; hard objects felt abrasive to him. He was very lonely, so he wove himself gossamer wings.
In 1987 Riff Raff met an American actor and activist named Mike Steele. Steele was starring in a remake of the movie Dracula, which was being filmed on location in Battle Creek, NE. Riff Raff romanced and seduced Steele with promises of fame and fortune. They married, but Steele was constantly away from the house. Riff Raff then began imagining that he was having affairs behind his back. He wove himself a costume and began calling himself Kokayne Dawkins. He wreaked havoc attacking social gatherings in search of Mike Steele. MTV approached Dawkins and they made a reality show about him.
Jim Scampoli encountered Kokayne Dawkins at a dinner party he was attending. Accompanying Jim Scampoli to the party was his homeboy Jeff Murphy, along with his mentor Jimmy Fallon. Scampoli ate several mushrooms and tried to confront Kokayne Dawkins, unweaving his costume and attempting to drown him in a swimming pool. Dawkins broke free, and at the same time his boyfriend Mike Steele realized that the fight was occurring. Steele fired his gun at Dawkins, narrowly missing the drug crazed DJ, damaging his gossamer wings so that he could not fly. By this point the dance floor was well and truly cleared. Jeff Murphy grabbed a baton and heroically knocked out Steele to keep him from getting in the way as he confronted the unmasked Riff Raff. However, instead of turning him over to the authorities, Jeff Murphy allowed him to walk away since they seemed to have some things in common.
Within his new cult, Riff Raff ordered his followers to steal and scavenge for him. As the Dark Snitcher (Mike Steele) investigated these thefts, he overheard the name of Riff Raff from a trustworthy drug dealer. He recalled it as the name of a pimp who was throwing a party that his best friend Jake Sprague was attending. During a scuffle, Dark Snitcher became injected with enough drugs to knock him out and when he came to he was before Riff Raff. Dark Snitcher thought they were friends, but Riff Raff said he was mistaken. Riff Raff tried to drown Dark Snitcher in cement, but Dark Snitcher used his powers to break loose and tried to appeal to Riff Raff's conscience. Saying he had no conscience, Riff Raff attacked once more as Dark Snitcher realized Jake Sprague was present in a drugged-induced haze. Rushing to help him, he turned around to realize Riff Raff was gone. His location remains a mystery.
TO BE CONTINUED...
RiFF RAFF: the story so far: A tale of Two RiFf raFfs
Jody "riFF raFF" Christian was born 2 weeks premature in the vicinity of "Bunk Alley", Minnesota in 1975. He was raised by Gypsies and spent much of his time alone nurturing his tulip gardens and focusing on his rapping and the ability to telekinetically manipulate and control materials with his mind. He loved how the sensation of fiber, such as soft weaves and flowers, felt to his touch; hard objects felt abrasive to him. He was very lonely, so he wove himself gossamer wings.
In 1987 Riff Raff met an American actor and activist named Mike Steele. Steele was starring in a remake of the movie Dracula, which was being filmed on location in Battle Creek, NE. Riff Raff romanced and seduced Steele with promises of fame and fortune. They married, but Steele was constantly away from the house. Riff Raff then began imagining that he was having affairs behind his back. He wove himself a costume and began calling himself Kokayne Dawkins. He wreaked havoc attacking social gatherings in search of Mike Steele. MTV approached Dawkins and they made a reality show about him.
Jim Scampoli encountered Kokayne Dawkins at a dinner party he was attending. Accompanying Jim Scampoli to the party was his homeboy Jeff Murphy, along with his mentor Jimmy Fallon. Scampoli ate several mushrooms and tried to confront Kokayne Dawkins, unweaving his costume and attempting to drown him in a swimming pool. Dawkins broke free, and at the same time his boyfriend Mike Steele realized that the fight was occurring. Steele fired his gun at Dawkins, narrowly missing the drug crazed DJ, damaging his gossamer wings so that he could not fly. By this point the dance floor was well and truly cleared. Jeff Murphy grabbed a baton and heroically knocked out Steele to keep him from getting in the way as he confronted the unmasked Riff Raff. However, instead of turning him over to the authorities, Jeff Murphy allowed him to walk away since they seemed to have some things in common.
Within his new cult, Riff Raff ordered his followers to steal and scavenge for him. As the Dark Snitcher (Mike Steele) investigated these thefts, he overheard the name of Riff Raff from a trustworthy drug dealer. He recalled it as the name of a pimp who was throwing a party that his best friend Jake Sprague was attending. During a scuffle, Dark Snitcher became injected with enough drugs to knock him out and when he came to he was before Riff Raff. Dark Snitcher thought they were friends, but Riff Raff said he was mistaken. Riff Raff tried to drown Dark Snitcher in cement, but Dark Snitcher used his powers to break loose and tried to appeal to Riff Raff's conscience. Saying he had no conscience, Riff Raff attacked once more as Dark Snitcher realized Jake Sprague was present in a drugged-induced haze. Rushing to help him, he turned around to realize Riff Raff was gone. His location remains a mystery.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Labels:
celeb,
party rockers,
rap,
too inaccurate for wikipedia
25.5.13
Jay-Z's Career Shows Warming Trend, 95% of Experts Agree
A new report by the International Panel on Rapping has concluded that rapper Jay-Z's career is hotter than ever and shows no signs of cooling down.
The 400 page report is the largest and most detailed summary of Jay-Z ever undertaken, produced by thousands of rappers, DJs, and reviewers from dozens of countries. It confirms that Jigga's beats and lyrics are indeed hot, and are warming at a greater rate than initially predicted.
The report has been the subject of criticism. Skeptics contend that Jay-Z's weaker albums are not sufficiently incorporated in the report. Others regard the IPR as too conservative in its estimates of the source of warming, arguing that the strength of Jay's music is due to the world-class producers he works with, not his lyrical content or delivery. Some have even suggested that the report is a fabrication by iTunes with the assistance of Amazon.com and it ignores the obvious fact that Reasonable Doubt is Jigga's hottest album, hands down.
The 400 page report is the largest and most detailed summary of Jay-Z ever undertaken, produced by thousands of rappers, DJs, and reviewers from dozens of countries. It confirms that Jigga's beats and lyrics are indeed hot, and are warming at a greater rate than initially predicted.
The report has been the subject of criticism. Skeptics contend that Jay-Z's weaker albums are not sufficiently incorporated in the report. Others regard the IPR as too conservative in its estimates of the source of warming, arguing that the strength of Jay's music is due to the world-class producers he works with, not his lyrical content or delivery. Some have even suggested that the report is a fabrication by iTunes with the assistance of Amazon.com and it ignores the obvious fact that Reasonable Doubt is Jigga's hottest album, hands down.
Labels:
conspiracy,
illuminati,
jay-z,
the roc,
threat,
update,
world
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