If you like strippers this is the video for you

How thoughtful of you. Thanks Tim!

Chris Brown finally stands up to Rihanna

In a move that has rocked the entertainment world, famous crooning rapman Chris Brown has taken legal action his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. He is asking for $10 million in damages and a restraining order against Rihanna to stop her spreading her genital herpes from Barbados.

"Rihanna gave me herpes and then when I threatened to file a lawsuit against her for not telling me she was infested with genital blisters she began to hit herself in the face and throw herself into walls just as Jim Carrey did in the movie 'Liar, Liar."

"Then she turned around and blamed me for the matter as a form of punishment."

"I woke up with three blisters on my penis ... this isn't just a regular case of American herpes, this is a case of Herpes from Barbados, which is most likely lethal."

Brown has employed an expensive team of lawyers to push his case and will be calling Jim Carrey as an expert witness to demonstrate the way somebody can hit themself in the face and crush their own head in a toilet. Jim Carrey has stuck by his best friend Chris Brown ever since the wicked whore Rihanna came into his life and destroyed it. We at SkipHopz Dot Com will continue to support Chris Brown and hope he can find the justice he has been missing for so long.

Rihanna (if that is her real name) could not be reached for commnent, at the time of writing she was most likely summoning a demon with the help of the illuminati and making up more lies about Chris Brown from her Palace of Thorns in Barbados.

The Pliers of Chakademus to release solo album

Following successful solo ventures by fellow Jedi Mind Tricks members Stopue and Vinne Paz, the Pliers of Chakademus is set to release its debut album 'Billion Dollar Latte'.

The Pliers got their first break on the semenal Jedi Mind album 'Violent By Design'. During recording there was a problem when a microphone cord broke and needed to be held together. Stoupe (the Enemy of Mankind) found the Pliers in a drawer in his laundry and brought them to the studio. They worked so magnificently that Jus Allah suggested they give the Pliers a bigger role on the album. Although their background vocals and production work was uncredited at the time, Vinne Paz gave the pliers a shoutout with the classic lyric "Rip off your fingers with the Pliers of Chakademus". The Pliers would later leverage this into numerous mixtape appearances. In 2009 the Pliers of Chakademus were signed to Interscope records.

The Pliers of Chakademus with Vinnie Paz at the 2012 MTV Movie Awards

The religious leanings of the Pliers have always been a hot topic of discussion among hip hop fans. Vinnie Paz has recently criticised the Pliers for not following the word of Allah. He also said the Pliers of Chakademus were not even needlenose, and therefore useless for any small work that needed to be done. The Pliers responded by calling Vinne a 'needledick' and saying they didn't want any beef but there was a differnt version if Islam for pliers (which is true) and all tools must follow their own path. The Pliers of Chakademus have a positive message for the youth that comes through in their music.

Clamps has been a worthy adversary for the Pliers but they have kept their beef on wax.

The critical reception to the new album has been mixed. Pitchfork Media was enamoured with the release, adding it to their coveted 'best new music'. The Sydney Morning Herald was less impressed, they took issue with the repetitive beats "Which sound like a pair of pliers opening and closing," and the 'lyrics' which are apparently "A combination of metallic clanking and grinding noises." Highlights on the album include the diss track to Clamps of Futurama and the titular song, a 7 minute epic featuring Vinnie Paz. Rapper Ludacris features on 8 of the 12 songs on the album.

Billion Dollar Latte is available for preorder at Soulclap Records and Next Level Records.
It is available for download from Kazaa and Limewire.

Peter Andre Bites Talib Kweli

 

 Portrait of a biter

Underground rap singer Talib Kweli is recovering in hospital tonight after being bitten by a crazed Peter Andre.

The surprising incident took place in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria in New York. Kweli was signing autographs for fans when he was interrupted by a crazed Peter Andre who flung himself at the rap singer. Andre bit Kweli on the face and jaw before latching onto his arm and removing a strip of flesh. He was restrained by hotel security but managed to escape while they attempted to contact police. He was heard running away while yelling "It was love at first bite! I will find you again Talib, nobody can keep us apart!"

 

Kweli was shaken by the incident but he remains in good spirits. He was quoted saying "I feel bad for Peter, he is in a dark place right now and I honestly wish him the best."

Andre could not be reached for comment. His agent released a statement saying "This is an uncharacteristic biting by Peter. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding and he will emerge from hiding soon to explain himself." Police have asked anyone with information about his whereabouts to contact Crime Stoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

Peter Andre was one the biggest and amazing sensational artists of the 1990s who created a fad among all the music lovers across the globe with his illustrious and stunning, ”Mysterious Girl” and who still continues to amaze his fans by his flair. He doesn't have any known diseases so its no big deal if he bites you. The accomplished performer is well known for his brilliant come back in 2006 who rocked the UK charts with his album A Whole New World. After the spectacular musical success of the album, Peter Andre continues to delight his fans with all the astonishing albums. Be it Revelation (2009) – with dark lyrics which was a bit different from his previous style, Unconditional : Love Songs (2011) or Accelerate (2010) which entered the UK charts in its first week.

William Shakespeare Dead at 52

Legendary English poet/playwright Will Shakespeare is dead. The tragic discovery was made by high school student Jennifer Wilkins at Boston Town Library earlier today.

"I was flicking through a biography of Will Shakespeare and it said he was dead, I was so sad I had to put the book down and let everybody know about it." She said, even as she texted the news to her friends.

The news quickly spread to Twitter and Facebook where a page dedicated to the medieval rapper's death got thousands of likes and it became a trending topic worldwide. In an incredible outpouring of creativity, wellwishers on Blingee.com have created hundreds of tributes to the great man. Pop group Linkin Park have authorised the use of their music for unofficial fan tribute videos on Youtube.

Some people were skeptical at first, as enemies of Will Shakespeare had made up fake reports of his death before. But the story was soon picked up by CNN and edited into the Wikipedia.

According to official sources, Will died in 1826 on April 23rd. The cause of death is not known, even wikipedia doesn't know. Shakespeare's family were unable to be reached for comment and his grave site cannot be located even by the latest GPS gadgets. Many Shakespeare fans have cited these anomalies as proof the writer might still be alive, some have put forth the theory that the @horse_ebooks twitter account is being run by William Shakespeare who faked his own death and leaves clues about the truth in his Twitter postings.

Whatever his true fate, MTV will be screening a special memorial for Shakespeare on Friday.

R.I.P   Will Shakespeare   1812 - 1938

The 5 Realest Rap Criminals

THE anals of hip hop history are full of rappers acting hard and admitting to crimes they never really did. But there are some rappers who walked the walk. Skiphopz Dot Com counts down 5 of the realest criminals in rap...


5. LLOYD BANKS

Coming in at number 5 on the list, Mr Lloyd Banks has terrorized dozens of people with his annoying act of stealing umbrellas. Whenever he leaves a cafe or indoor location where people store umbrellas near the entrance, he takes one. When an elderly man pointed out "Thats my umbrella" Lloyd simply replied "Come and take it!" before skipping out the door laughing. None of the victims have pressed charges and at the time of writing he remains a rap criminal at large.



4. DR. DRE

The public facade of 'The Good Doctor' is nothing more than an elaborate ruse invented by the infamous Dr Dre while he continues to work his dark arts behind closed doors. These unspeakable acts make him our 4th most feared assassin of all time. The fact that Dre never went to medical school has not stopped him from opening his own medical practice, fronted by a real doctor named Dr Marshall Mathers, where he allegedly cuts people up into small pieces and sews them back together in his spare time. In a recent interview Dre said his "work" is nearly complete and Detox will be released soon, we can only guess at what secrets lie behind that mysterious locked door in his basement.



3. RICK ROSS

Number 3 on our list of dumbest criminal masterminds is none other than the fat man himself, Rick Ross. Ross decided he would steal five cents from every bank account in the world, thinking he could make a lot of money and remain undetected. So he started hanging around ATMs and beating people up, stealing their cards and forcing them to give up their PIN at knifepoint, then he would withdraw the five cents. Rick Ross has made over $15 from these crimes. He is a wanted criminal in 9 states, his current whereabouts unknown.



2. VINNIE PAZ

The 'Pazmanian Devil' is as notorious as he is feared. He made his name sneaking into orphanages during feeding time, using his babyface to avoid detection by the guards. He would make his way to the head of the feeding line, hold a bowl in to the air and say "Please sir, may I have some more?" before pulling out a samurai sword and going to town, brutally slicing the throats of any who dare try to run. He would then sit in the bloodsoaked room eating his fill of beans and porridge. If you see a fat manchild covered in tattoos please call Crimestoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.



1. WILL SMITH

Our number one rapping serial killer has to be Big Willie himself, Will 'The Fresh Prince' Smith. His sadistic acts are legendary, starting with the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990. Once his brutality was unleashed, he knew no boundaries, torturing, killing, cannibalizing victims, both male and female.

With the release of his Code Red album in 1993, Smith's lyrics became darker as he ruminated on the terrible events of 1990. One night after a concert in Florida he became angry with a young girl for laughing at him when he propositioned her for sex. He beat her until she was unconscious with the help of 'Jazzy Jeff', then raped, sodomized, and tortured her before dumping her weighted body into a swamp. Jazzy Jeff was shaken by the experience and begged Will Smith to turn himself in, but Smith simply laughed, pulled out a dagger and threatened to cut off Jeff's balls if he ever spoke of what happened this night. Will Smith continued to kill after each live performance. Encouraged by his success he worked on mastering this skill of torture, often keeping his mutilated victims alive for weeks. The killings became more macabre and sadistic each year, he sometimes cannibalized parts of their bodies while they watched in horror or forced them to participate in the eating.



In 1997 the hip hop task force special investigation into the missing groupies was turning up enough leads that pointed the finger at Smith. After a search of Will Smith's estate uncovered clothing worn by one of the girls, Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff were indited for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. While awaiting trial in prison, Jazzy Jeff broke down under police pressure and told authorities about Will Smith's other killings, starting in 1990.

Two weeks before he was due to give evidence at the murder trial, Jazzy Jeff disappeared. Two weeks later his scrotum was discovered nailed to the door of the New York Supreme Court. Will Smith claimed he had nothing to do with it, and the prosecution was forced to dismiss the case due to a lack of evidence. The families of the victims were outraged. They claimed Will Smith's powerful Hollywood connections were influencing the course of justice.

The mysterious disappearances of groupies on Will Smith's world tours had almost stopped in 1999, until Smith ordered a press conference and taunted police by saying the 'Willenium' was coming and he could not be stopped. In the decade form 2000 to 2010 there were at least 180 confirmed cases of girls, some as young as 12, disappearing after being last seen at a Will Smith concert. Some experts have claimed Will Smith may be the most prolific serial killer of all time.

Ebay removes 'RAP' category from vinyl record listings

IT has come to the attention of SKIPHOPZ that popular websight 'E-BAY' (the electronic bay) has removed hiphop/rap from it's auction listings for vinal records. What the hell do those nerds even know about RAP?

The disturbing news was revealed on Ozhiphop forums. This is nothing less than a insult to all rap listeners on the web. I am mad as hell right now...and not just because i have spent the afternoon reading spam message board posts SHOTS HAVE BEEN FIRED

ebay placed this monolith in an airport corridor to impede pedestrians

Tha relationship between ebay and the rap community has always been strained, ever since i gave some guy in brazil a 1 star rating because he sold me a Drake CD. Drake fukking sucks as we are all aware!

What can we do, as a rapping community, to force ebay to change their ways???

We will spread tha word on our' blogs and google waves. We will not rest until 'RAP' is a main category on the site, along with boats and jeans with rhinestones all over them (THE JEANS NOT THE BOATS)

Jazz Musician Morgan Freeman Dead at 90

(This story is still developing) Influential actor Morgan Freeman is dead. According to official sources he died in hospital this morning following a heart attack.

The news was broken by popular internet news website 'The Global Daily'
http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1347258242.html

Goodnight sweet prince

Freeman was rushed to Fair Oaks hospital after complaining of chest pains during a morning run earlier today, according to official sources. Efforts to save the actor failed at around 6:30 AM. The death has come as a shock to friends and family, who report that Freeman was in good health up until the massive heart attack ended his life.

Freeman will be remembered for his Academy Award winning performances and charity work. He was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the foremost actors of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Bill Cosby Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...R.I.P'. Morgan Freeman was 75 years old.

Listening to Canibus 'permanently lowers IQ', new study finds

World Global Reuters Daily - 7 September 2013

  TEENAGERS who regularly listen to popular rap artist Canibus are putting themselves at risk of permanently damaging their intelligence, according to a landmark study. 

  Researchers found persistent listeners of the rapper, who started listening to his music at school, had lower IQ scores as adults.  They were also significantly more likely to have attention and memory problems in later life, than their peers who listened to normal music. Furthermore, those who started as teenagers and listened heavily, but quit as adults, did not regain their full mental powers, found academics at King’s College London and Duke University in the US.

The rapper Canibus, one of the major health concerns in America today

  Professor Terrie Moffitt, of KCL’s Institute of Psychiatry, who contributed to the study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, said “persistent listeners” who started as teenagers suffered a drop of twelve IQ points at the age of 28, compared to when they were 15. Persistent users meant those who listened to at least one Canibus album per week from ages from 18 to 28. She said: “Adolescent-onset Canibus listeners showed marked IQ decline from childhood to adulthood.

  “Research has shown that IQ is a strong determinant of a person’s access to a college education, their lifelong total income, their access to a good job, their performance on the job, their tendency to develop heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and even early death,” she said. “Individuals who lose twelve IQ points in their teens and 20s may be disadvantaged, relative to their same-age peers, in most of the important aspects of life and for years to come.” The cognitive abilities of the 10 per cent of people who started listening to Canibus in their 20s also suffered while they were still listening. However, if they gave up at least a year before their IQ test at 28, their intelligence recovered, suggesting their brains were more resilient and bounced back.

 This man never had a chance, due to Canibus damaging his brain at a young age

  Prof Moffitt said adolescent brains appeared "more vulnerable to damage and disruption" from Canibus than those of fully mature adults. Reliable figures on Canibus usage among today’s British teens and twentysomethings are hard to come by. But Prof Moffitt said there was growing concern in the US that Canibus was increasingly becoming seen as one of the greatest lyricists of our time. “This is the first year that more secondary school students in the US are listening to Canibus than Eminem, according to the Monitoring the Future project at the University of Michigan,” she noted. “Fewer now think Canibus is more damaging than Lil Wayne, but Canibus is harmful for the very young.”

Skiphopz: The Book, Rejected 1st Chapter

Steve Stevenson
 

  IT was meant to be the grand entrance of all entrances - but Hugh Jackman's flying fox swoop into the Oprah Show took a tragic turn. Jackman was nearing the stage of the Opera House when he struck a chainsaw, severing his legs.

  Oprah rushed to Jackman’s aid, making light of his injury. "Bono was meant to do this but they couldn’t afford the insurance," she told the 6000- strong audience. Jackman remained calm and asked for a last cigarette as he lay on the stage bleeding, saying "That was too much fun. It was okay until the end". with his children watching in the audience and visibly upset, Oprah told the audience "Oh we’re going to see that on the news, over and over again.”

   IT was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs. Steve Stevenson checked over his post one more time while his mouse cursor hovered over the 'Submit' button. It was a snappy news piece about Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman severing his legs in an onstage accident. A surefire hit, bound to bring some traffic in. It might be the best thing he had written since his recent article about Bill Cosby's supposed death. Steve laughed a crazy laugh, like nails being thrown against a whiteboard. 

  He was about to publish the latest version of Skiphopz.com when an IM window popped up. This was odd, as he didn't have AOL Instant Messenger installed on this computer, or did he? Using this antiquated program was like being in a time machine. The message was from a user named Bill_Cosbys_Ghost, who spoke in all caps.

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: ZIP ZAP BOP I'M STILL HERE, KID

Steve: who is this?

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: WHERE AM I, SOME KIND OF COMPUTER GAME WITH THE WHIZZKIDS AND THE GADGETS?

Steve: get a life dude

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: I WANT YOU TO GO TO HELL AND SIT ON A RED HOT COAL AND WAIT FOR ME

   Steve closed the window and logged off. Cosby's Ghost was a creative troll, in a way, but how pathetic. That guy needs to get a job, take up a constructive hobby. He switched on the TV and flicked around the channels until he saw Dan Rathers and a news report that made him produce an involuntary silent cough and drop the remote.

   Bill Cosby was dead.

   Then the phone rang.

The Editor

Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing? Was this written by an author? You clearly have no grasp of basic grammar and punctuation. You're not following the conventions. This font is totally inappropriate and the margins are way off. You aren't setting the scene at all. The characters are not believable. Your prose reads like something my granddaughter would write, and she is 5 years old! Get it together.

Bill Cosby
 

  There's a website, www.something-or-other, I forget what, that has the history of everyone who's ever lived on it. You just have to specify exactly who you're looking for and you can read all about them. But I looked up myself, and for some reason my entry ended abru

Bill Cosby reported to be Dead

The internet has reported popular comedian Bill Cosby to be dead for the first time in 2012. The news was broken on Twitter and quickly spread to news websites such as The Global Daily: http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1346311361.html

Cosby was driving home on Freeway 33 after visiting friends when his Toyota swerved into the wrong lane and was hit by an oncoming car. The other driver was killed instantly and Cosby was badly injured, he was rushed to hospital but there was nothing doctors could do to reverse the terminal brain damage and internal bleeding.
Police don't think drugs or alcohol were factors in the fatal crash. Followers of Bill Cosby on Twitter have been suggesting that he was Tweeting while driving, and the distraction lead to the fatal accident.
Cosby will be remembered for his comedy routines and television work, including Fat Albert and The Cosby Show. He was also the author of many books.

Bill Cosby was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the foremost comedians of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Jackie Chan Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...Rest In Peace'. Bill Cosby was 75 years old.

Rolling Stone Keith Richards Dead at 68

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards passed away earlier this morning. The cause of death is still unknown, although a copy of the coroners report obtained by A.P. stated the probably cause of death as ‘Natural Causes’.

An interview with Stones drummer Charlie Watts at his Yorkshire home yesterday yielded the following quote: “Natural causes? Naturally speaking, Keith bloody died 25 years ago! The man was a **expletive** vampire! Somebody must have finally put garlic in his **expletive** methadone!”

Keith Richards was born in 1943. He studied music in his youth, playing both the french horn and piccolo in his schools orchestra and held a strong passion for classical chamber music. He also had an unrelenting desire to be a ballet dancer, but never achieved a desirable height to pursue dancing earnestly. This love of high culture continued into his early adolescents until one night at a local party, fate intervened...

Although the young Richards had always abstained from drugs and drink, he succumbed to peer pressure when a friend dared him to drink his first double scotch. That friend was none other than Mick Jagger. “Keith was a flipping fop till I met him that night!” Jagger would later comment in an interview, “not only that, but I think that you’re the coolest guy in the world! Everybody who was mean to the guy when he was in school should kiss his bloody ass now!"

Richard’s funeral will be privately held tomorrow at an undisclosed location with services starting at 10AM. No press, public or Rolling Stones fans will be admitted as family members have given strict instructions that the location of the service be held confidentially in accordance with Mr. Richards will. MTV will be showing a special memorial on Monday.

Egg Addiction Ruins Local Rap Crew

Famous rap gadabouts "The Crate Cartel" have gone into receivership (basically means they are broke as fuck and their parents had to bail them out). Have they hung up their goonbags for good?

Crate Cartel has been home to such lovable acts as "The Goatmob" and "Big Maundz" who created a stir in the local scene with their mix of rapping and power ballads for young men of the streets. But the highs of rap stardom proved too much for Crate Cartel founder Geko. While his label-mates were saving for home loan deposits or investing in stocks and bonds, Geko used his rap money to buy ever more extravagant and delicate  Fabergé eggs.

It’s hard not to see the Fabergé eggs as a metaphor for the local hip hop scene, a final, ostentatious flourish of European aristocracy: beautiful, hugely costly, useless, even silly.

Find out more and inquire about buying one of the famous eggs here: http://cratecartel.com/

Achtung! Child Rapper 360 Missing, Feared Kidnapped!

Legendary Austrian rapper 360 has been missing since Monday and many fear he has been kidnapped.

The troubles started on Sunday night, 360's mum said he didn't return home for dinner. Earlier in the day he apparently said "I'm going out to rap". Several sources close to the 360 family say he was going to battle his nemesis Kerser (the sickest).

an artist's impression of 360 chained up in a basement, kidnapped by the Ministry of Sound

360's Facebook page went into full scale meltdown as the news spread. Many fans shared the status "Where is 360?" and expressed their outrage that his bodyguards would allow Kerser to make a move. Is this all part of Kerser's devious endgame?

The Victorian Police declined to comment on the matter. We here at Skiphopz.com hope they will join us in praying for the safe return of oz hiphopper 360.

To all the young rappers out there: please keep it on wax.

The news of 360's kidnapping comes as Kerser revealed on Facebook that he has AIDS. He contracted the fatal disease by sharing needles with his lads. Our hearts go out to Kerser and his crew of runabouts.

Join the NEW SkipHopZ DOT COM Street Team!!

IN an effort to make more of u internet nerds read my blog i have decided to expand my markating stretegy by using viral stretegies of online markating in the real world...basically called a street team

MARKETING IDEAS:

• Insert "Skiphopz dot com rules!" into the text of wikipedia articles
• Replace Wikipedia's featured article with an article about Skiphopz dot com (needs to be written first, also make me an Austrian king in the article)
• Product placement in movies, like a movie where you visit skiphopz.com and dont die 7 days later
• Run up and whisper "Skiphopz dot com" into somebodys ear. Repeat 500000 times
• Look into possibility of using those military drones
• Put stickers with blog address all over the inside of sealed Egyptian tombs, when archeologists open the tomb they will visit the site
• Redirect google.com to skiphopz.com
• Sponsor junior ice hockey team, hope heartwarming story of redemption will bring viewers to blog
• Hand out free Skiphopz energy drinks for $4 each (buy case of red bull and write SKIPHOPZ on label)
• Build hype by dissing rival blogs
• A weird alphabetic Chia Pet that spells out Skiphopz.com when grown
• Look into becoming the official blog or energy drink of the 2013 Olympic Games...wherever their being held i dont know  yet
• Record yelling "Skiphopz dot com" over the top of a Lil B mixtape and upload it to Kaazaa
• Doo Wop (That Thing)

please leave comment below if u want to join the street team. also, if accepted i will need a sample of youre DNA.

Rap Superstar Eminem Dead at 39

It is with a heavy heart that I inform readers of SKIP HOPZ DOT COM that The Global Daily is reporting Eminem to be dead.

According to early reports that are spreading via Twitter, Marshall Mathers was found dead after a suspected drug overdose. Some fans report a mysterious youtube video called "Free Trill" being uploaded by the rapper, but it has been deleted.

Many squatters, beatniks and adventurers have already descended on Eminem's estate and are holding an impromptu music festival and bonfire dedicated to the rapper Trill and his short but dramatic career, claiming "It's what Eminem would've wanted". A local fire department spokesperson was quoted saying "Those kids can do whatever they want, it's not like we can stop them. If they want to burn down Eminem's house that's their prerogative as citizens of our great country. But I think his family is still inside, oh well".

Researchers are unable to find out who 'Trill' is, or if he ever existed at all. Academic Bill Reynolds was at the scene, "These people see The Trill's imprisonment as a metaphor for all control systems, for all vampiric systems whether it be capital punishment, abuse of political power, police states, etc. If The Trill is a stimulus to your imagination, fine. Let your imagination be stimulated. We all have a Trill inside us. But you should not confuse metaphors and imaginative leaps with understanding; they may be a help to understanding, but then we await the understanding to make judgments. I think there's also plenty of reason for caution".

Goodnight, sweet prince #freeTrill

Aussie rap songs for you're mom: PHATCHANCE (Chance Waters)

PHATCHANCE (now known as "The Chance Waters") has been known to attempt insane stunts to get attention, such as getting a facepaint tattoo of his own name on his face. These crazy actions have caught the attention of our best radio producers and got him on the playlist of greatest artists ever, which is when your mum heard about him.

 Not being covered in paint was considered "too mainstream"

The young lad made a name for himself through his frequent facepaint parties held at various gay bars around Melbourne, which featured his infamous improv rapping routine. Rather than resting on his laurels, Phatchance made a music video where people painted all over his body. He accidently inhaled fumes from the paint thinner and the Inkstains album was the result. Mums around the country were captivated by the rhyming of this non-threatening lad on Inkstains, but they complained that it still wasnt soft enough so Phatchance also released an acoustic version.

Chance Waters rolling deep

Acoustic success as a crossover indie rapper was not enough for Chance Waters, and in 2012 he decided to take over the world with his new album Maybe Tomorrow (maybe this time somebody will listen to the whole thing all the way through!). It's looking good so far, several mums have already added him as a facebook friend, retweeted him and thumbed up his youtube videos.

No doubt Chance Waters is one to watch, a rising star in the mum-rap genre.
He is a friend of SKIPHOPZ.com so plz like him: http://www.facebook.com/officialphatchance

CHANCE WATERS - AWARDS AND ACCOLADES
#2 on the jagermeister radio charts
Feature artist on Triple J Unearthed 2009
Voted 'lamest hook ever' on hiphopsphere.com forum poll
Queen of Facebook
Numerous battle wins on ozhiphop.com battle board
Best rap singer on Nurcha
Voted best lyricist by Womens Weekly reader poll
Playboy Playmate November 2006
#42 on itunes rap charts
Added to rotation on Triple J, a rock station ran by major queers
Nominated Aria award for best guitar strumming in a rap song (not a real award)

aussie rap songs for you're mom: DRAPHT - RAPUNZEL

Of course, most critics agreed when this song came out that it was one of the worst tracks ever recorded. But you're mom seems to love it. Rapunzel is mainly about a girl with long hair who broke up with Drapht, apparently he cant get over it. The guitar riff, rolling bassline, horns and lyrics about Sex in the City and Russell Crowe (R.I.P) are her cup of tea. Plus he is the most non-threatening male to ever wear a flat brim.

Who cares if Drapht was a member of SBX? He still had one of the worst tracks on Culture of Kings 3...which was a terrible compilation (full of songs you'r mom would probably love).

This is what Drapht looks like when your mom invites him over for dinner and he sits on your couch

Apparently DRAPHT has managed to get his fruityloops record The Life Of Riley on the musical charts and perform his standup rapping routine at several 'music fests', despite the fact that his album bombed so badly that the label never released a second single! lol fail

 Drapht strips off in the vocal booth to record another top 40 ballad
  

visit drapht's dumb myspace: http://www.myspace.com/drapht

vandalise him on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drapht

MC Kerser: Ready for War

SKIPHOPZ favourite KERSER has been unfairly attacked by many haters and clowns since he changed the rap game. Yesterday he spoke out on a popular internet message board, taking the opportunity to set the record straight about haters.

why dont u tell us how u really feel lol!

The issue of whether Kerser is the sickest has polarised opinion in the aussie hip hop community. Many fans have criticised Kerser for writing idiotic songs about the dumbest shit, but he paid though. He paid. He so paid. He makin money. He gettin dat paper currency in his pants pocket or purse.

However 360 recently bought a million dollar apartment. Looks like Kerser was defeated by 360 again!

Lady Gaga Diagnosed with Brain Cancer

Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with cancer, according to some news websites and twitter. Sad news, everyone at Skiphopz.com hopes she can pull through lest she become another member of the 27 club.

Lady Gaga said she had felt a strange headache during the first half of her performance during a charity concert last weekend. The singer is expected to announce the cancellation of her upcoming tour today, so she can focus on receiving treatment.

Celebrities including lifelong friend Snoop Dogg have been quick to support Gaga in her battle with cancer, taking to twitter and facebook to post messages of support.

GET WELL SOON.gif

Comedian Eddie Murphy Killed in Tragic Car Accident

Beloved comedian and actor Eddie Murphy has died in hospital following a high speed car accident near Los Angeles, official sources say.

http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1333171641.html

Murphy was driving home on Freeway 33 after visiting friends when his Lexus swerved into the wrong lane and was hit by an oncoming car. The other driver was killed instantly and Murphy was badly injured, he was rushed to hospital but there was nothing doctors could do to reverse the terminal brain damage and internal bleeding.Police don't think drugs or alcohol were factors in the fatal crash. Followers of Eddie Murphy on Twitter have been suggesting that he was Tweeting while driving, and the distraction lead to the fatal accident.

Eddie Murphy, he was the best of us. R.I.P

Box office takes from Murphy's films make him the second-highest grossing actor in the United States. He was a regular cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1980 to 1984 and has worked as a stand-up comedian. He was ranked #10 on Comedy Central's list of the 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time.

Eddie Murphy was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the leading comedians of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Antonio Banderas Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...a sad day for all of us'. Eddie Murphy was 50 years old.

Charlie Sheen Reported Dead

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Controversial actor Charlie Sheen was found dead in his Los Angeles home earlier this morning, according to police.

Reports of the death started circulating the internet via Twitter a few hours ago and they were recently confirmed by Sheen's publicist. Although the cause of death was not mentioned it is suspected that drugs were involved. What is known at this point is that at approximately 6:40 EST a family member checked him into Palo Alto Memorial Hospital of an apparent overdose, and the former actor died a few hours later.

Charlie Sheen's film roles have included Chris Taylor in the 1986 Vietnam War drama Platoon, Jake Kesey in the 1986 film The Wraith, and Bud Fox in the 1987 film Wall Street. His career has also included more comedic films such as Major League, the Hot Shots! films, and Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4. On television, Sheen is known for his roles on two sitcoms: as Charlie Crawford on Spin City and as Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men. In 2010, Sheen was the highest paid actor on television, earning US$1.8 million per episode of Two and a Half Men.

Sheen's personal life has also made headlines, including reports about alcohol and drug abuse and marital problems as well as allegations of domestic violence. He was fired from his role on Two and a Half Men by CBS and Warner Bros. on March 7, 2011. Sheen subsequently announced a nationwide tour.

Charlie Sheen was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the best actors of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Jenna Elfman Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...the world is poorer for it'. Charlie Sheen was 46 years old.

Gabe Newell Dies of Heart Attack

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(This story is still developing)
Celebrated game designer Gabe Newell is dead. According to official sources he died in hospital this morning following a heart attack.

Gabe was like a father to us all

Newell was rushed to Fair Oaks hospital after complaining of chest pains during a morning cycle earlier today, according to official sources. Efforts to save the game designer failed at around 6:30 AM. The death has come as a shock to friends and family, who report that Newell was in good health up until the massive heart attack ended his life

After having dropped out of Harvard University Newell spent thirteen years working for Microsoft Corporation, ultimately becoming a "Microsoft Millionaire". Newell has described himself as "producer on the first three releases of Windows". Inspired by Michael Abrash, who left Microsoft to work on the computer game Quake at id Software, Newell and another Microsoft employee, Mike Harrington, left Microsoft to found Valve in 1996. He and Harrington used their money to fund Valve through the development of Half-Life.

Gabe Newell was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the hardest working game designers of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Adam Sessler Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...the world is poorer for it'. Gabe Newell was 49 years old.